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If You're Looking for a Communist to Spend the Rest of Your Life with Then BOY Do We Have News for You

AP Photo/Kurt Strumpf

Are you a Pinko who's been unlucky in love on your own? Tired of hitting the dating scene only to find out that your opposite number doesn't share your radical redistributionist economic policy obsessions, perhaps to the point that they're *gasp* a Capitalist? Well boy, does the New York City branch of the Democratic Socialists of America have a dating solution for you! How does 'Commie-Speed Dating' sound? No? Bueller? Bueller?

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Now before you go rejecting the idea out of hand remember that Democratic Congresswoman Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez was long a member of the New York DSA, and she's a good-looking lady right? Of course, she's at least engaged and possibly married so that might be out. But still, you know... worth a shot? You can find the Socialist or Communist man/woman of your dreams! Who could say no to that?

There's always the option of skipping out on the check to stick it to the Capitalist class that owns the restaurant, of course.

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You can't get more genuinely Socialist than that! Maybe they could redistribute their wealth together while they're at it!

Where's Joe McCarthy when you need him?

Everybody deserves love, even card-carrying avowed Socialists and Communists we guess. Of course, the irony that the DSA-NYC is charging between $24-$50 for tickets to their dating event seems to have been lost on their followers because as of this writing tickets are sold out... so there are it seems a lot of lonely Pinkos in the greater New York City area just searching for a likeminded person to plan the Revolution with. Godspeed, lonely Commies! 

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