If You're Looking for a Communist to Spend the Rest of Your Life with Then BOY Do We Have News for You

Are you a Pinko who's been unlucky in love on your own? Tired of hitting the dating scene only to find out that your opposite number doesn't share your radical redistributionist economic policy obsessions, perhaps to the point that they're *gasp* a Capitalist? Well boy, does the New York City branch of the Democratic Socialists of America have a dating solution for you! How does 'Commie-Speed Dating' sound? No? Bueller? Bueller?

Don’t rely on dating apps created by capitalist corporations to help you find love this February; go to your friendly neighborhood leftists to find that special cutie ❤️

Speed dating is back and better than ever! Tickets are going fast! Get yours: https://t.co/MdxeGKfKCq pic.twitter.com/nhOGfXDTRj
— NYC-DSA 🌹 (@nycDSA) January 17, 2024

Now before you go rejecting the idea out of hand remember that Democratic Congresswoman Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez was long a member of the New York DSA, and she's a good-looking lady right? Of course, she's at least engaged and possibly married so that might be out. But still, you know... worth a shot? You can find the Socialist or Communist man/woman of your dreams! Who could say no to that?

Imagine the smell
— Cimmerian Pervert (@cimmerian_v) January 18, 2024

This is an in person event? There is a pandemic going on. Will there be Socialist Distancing?
— ℙ𝕣𝕠𝕗𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕠𝕣 𝔻𝕒𝕩𝕠𝕡𝕙𝕠𝕟𝕖 (@DaxophoneSolo) January 18, 2024

If two people end up going out how will they decide who pays for the date when they both demand the other person pay?
— 🫃🏼💉🇺🇦Hollaria Briden, Esq. (@HollyBriden) January 17, 2024

There's always the option of skipping out on the check to stick it to the Capitalist class that owns the restaurant, of course.

Don’t rely on dating apps created by labor aristocrats to help you find love this February; go to your friendly neighborhood capitalists to find that special skilled worker in your life❤️ https://t.co/n4Yl04O7F2 pic.twitter.com/7wBynjWnRf
— Luddite JDPON🇵🇸🕯 (@RegimeTwink) January 18, 2024

Imagine just being at the bar having a drink and this is happening behind you. https://t.co/huRRHHtnxH
— N E A K U T E U K (@AccretionJets) January 18, 2024

Every man who shows up to this should be put on a list https://t.co/Dsrw6iqwVD
— ⚠︎ (@101stgec) January 17, 2024

Where's Joe McCarthy when you need him?

Everybody deserves love, even card-carrying avowed Socialists and Communists we guess. Of course, the irony that the DSA-NYC is charging between $24-$50 for tickets to their dating event seems to have been lost on their followers because as of this writing tickets are sold out... so there are it seems a lot of lonely Pinkos in the greater New York City area just searching for a likeminded person to plan the Revolution with. Godspeed, lonely Commies!

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