We gave Jill Filipovic a hand by changing our headline to read “parents” having children, seeing as she’s used the offensive term “women” and not something along the lines of “birthing person” or “menstruator” or “vulva owner.” Pro-choicers can often be found claiming that no one is pro-abortion, which doesn’t really line up with awareness campaigns like “Shout Your Abortion.”
Jill Filipovic isn’t talking about abortion this time, however. She’s looking for more essays from parents who regret having kids too early, having too many kids, or having kids at all.
I would really love to read more essays and op/eds from women (and men, too) who regret having children as early as they did, regret having as many as they did, or regret having children at all. There's not much about motherhood that remains publicly unexplored, but that does.
— Jill Filipovic (@JillFilipovic) May 8, 2021
Well the total meltdown in response to “it would be good to talk more about a real but extremely taboo part of adult life” pretty well illustrates why virtually no one talks about it. But it is wild to see such insane reactions to “hey maybe we should talk about this.”
— Jill Filipovic (@JillFilipovic) May 8, 2021
What total meltdown? What insane reactions? These?
Basically you want to feel better about your life decisions by reveling in the misery of others.
— J (@ARaised_Eyebrow) May 8, 2021
That’s because its cruel and mean-hearted. Imagine your mother telling you that. We don’t operate in a vacuum and sometimes sacrifices must be made.
— bluska (@bluskabucknut) May 8, 2021
How fun it would be to be their offspring!
— Sissy Willis (@SissyWillis) May 8, 2021
The best mothers write essays and op/eds for their children to read about how they regret having them.
— Movie Churches (@Dean_Min_Travel) May 8, 2021
Hearing your mother say she regrets having you would be a bit of a gut punch.
— Bob Sampson (@bobsalpha1) May 8, 2021
Really? I know these kinds of pieces can provide solace to those in similar situations, but I also think the selling point is often to provide validation to those who made different choices. I don't have kids, but I don't want to use someone else's pain this way.
— Sara Eckel (@saraeckel) May 8, 2021
I'd rather we all just got off the hamster wheel of trying to prove how pleased with our life choices we all are. Maybe the only good thing about living in 2021 is we can let go of this ruse.
— Sara Eckel (@saraeckel) May 8, 2021
Would you really love explaining to the children of said authors why their parents are publicly regretting their existence?
— Jake Meador (@jake_meador) May 8, 2021
Let’s do that on a weekend that’s not dedicated to mothers.
— Iyke (@Biykend) May 8, 2021
I wish I would have had MORE children and had them SOONER. I’m so blessed to be the mother of two boys. I wouldn’t trade them or motherhood for the world. To be a successful and loving mother is my ultimate life goal. https://t.co/8lBmrFohm1
— Kimberly Ross (@SouthernKeeks) May 8, 2021
I don’t know about sooner, since I was 25 but I definitely wish I’d had a couple more.
— Andrea Caruso (@AndreaNRuth) May 8, 2021
I have seven so I don't necessarily wish I had more. (Though there was a fleeting moment I thought about eight, just for an even number.)
But that last part is 100% true.
— I get it right eventuallee (@brief_lee) May 8, 2021
Same with my wife and I. I held us off until we could only have two, and it is my greatest regret. It was pure selfishness on my part, and very foolish.
— Proudly Unaffiliated (@ProudlyUnaffil1) May 8, 2021
My husband and I started early on purpose, now our daughter has a year left of high school and we will be 42 when she graduates and have so much life left with her to enjoy her and go on adventures
— Lady Katie (@ktmichaelis) May 8, 2021
I had kids late. Would have loved to have three, so happy to be a mom to two.
— ReneeHart 🤷♀️💅🏻 (@eeners) May 8, 2021
I am also blessed with two wonderful sons. I wouldn't change a thing.
— Becky Chapman (@Becpt) May 8, 2021
I wish I had an upbringing – in all areas and from all sides – that would have better fostered my pursuing skills so that I could've been in position to give my parents the grandkids I always longed to give them rather than watching them die without because of an antiquated vow.
— Koala-T 🐨 (@DiamonDamien) May 8, 2021
Same with my daughter. She has two. First one was when she was 28 and she wants more. She said she should’ve had kids earlier.
— Chris Guzman (@TaotaoSalupa) May 8, 2021
I wish I'd considered stay at home parenting sooner.
— Trailer Tron ⛽🚎🪵☕🥓 (@LibertarianFren) May 8, 2021
I agree and don't get why she wants to read more about this. Who wants to read about mothers who regret having their kids?
— Jessica (@jlc7212007) May 8, 2021
Filipovic received lots of responses to her query, but mostly from 1) women who’d chosen not to have children and were happy about it, and 2) traumatized children who’d overheard their parents saying they’d regretted having them. Maybe that’s why it’s “taboo” not to write about regretting having children.
Related:
Sexist AF: Feminist Jill Filipovic asks Slate to hold her beer after they crap on 'shameless careerist' Amy Coney Barrett https://t.co/lNMee3pVIY
— Twitchy Team (@TwitchyTeam) October 13, 2020
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