OK, here’s the wind-up from Friday courtesy of Jesse Kelly:
The wife threw her back out. I hate doing this, but I’d appreciate any prayers you could send our way cause there are clothes in the dryer.
— Jesse Kelly (@JesseKellyDC) May 10, 2019
And here’s the response from Ilan Ben-Meir, former BuzzFeed political reporter and current Ph.D. candidate whose research focuses on post-digital textuality:
Your modern American Right, folks. https://t.co/7be5fPaFfM
— Ilan Ben-Meir (@ilanagain) May 10, 2019
Jesse Kelly is indeed the modern American Right, and we’re happy to have him on our side.
To be clear: it’s obvious that this is supposed to be a joke.
My point is that this is the kind of joke only assholes would think was funny.
And before y’all go calling me a snowflake — I’m not *offended,* I just think you’re a bunch of knuckle-dragging dipshits.
— Ilan Ben-Meir (@ilanagain) May 11, 2019
Really putting that English degree from Yale through its paces there. Good investment, good return.
But in the spirit of good sport, if any of you mouthbreathing fucknuggets can explain why @JesseKellyDC’s joke is *actually funny*, I’ll give you a hundred bucks — Scout’s honor.
— Ilan Ben-Meir (@ilanagain) May 11, 2019
Do we trust Scout’s honor from a former BuzzFeed reporter? Because he owes this guy a hundred bucks:
The joke is *actually funny* because being the shallow stereotype of what liberals believe about conservatives, it baited you into an outraged reply before realizing you'd taken the bait. Watching you try to furiously claw the hook out of your mouth is the punchline.
— Aldous Huxley's Ghost™ (@AF632) May 11, 2019
Pay the man
— Axis Mundi (@faulty_premise) May 11, 2019
Loving his ratios. That is payment enough for me
— Mike B (@nightflyblog) May 11, 2019
No, send the $100.
What isn't funny, and what is fueling the rising popularity of "dry-bar comedy", is the assumption among the "self-declared sophisticates" that using as much prison-inmate language as possible in every sentence is somehow the key to making them seem more clever and humorous.
— Author R. J. A. Gilbert (@TaleMasterTOV) May 11, 2019
We assure you he ran his tweets past a classroom of sixth-graders and they found them hilarious.
This is humorous because it's so obviously not reality. But, I understand how people who are unable to discern fake from real might not be able to tell the difference. To each his own.
— SheLooksJustLikeYouJohn (@AsilisArt) May 11, 2019
People like you think Saturday Night Live is funny you don't have a sense of humor and you don't understand anybody else's sense of humor. What's hilarious is that this bothers you! LOL you lose.
— EricSteeleLive (@EricSteeleLive) May 11, 2019
No, not even the most die-hard liberal would admit “Saturday Night Live” is funny now.
Your brain on Buzzfeed.
— JWF (@JammieWF) May 11, 2019
You seem awfully smart, so learning to code should be a breeze for you…
— Gregimus (@murgatr0id) May 10, 2019
It’s called humor. The left is humorless.
— Dafney (@Flyingright1) May 11, 2019
And you are…?
— Cameron E. Neuman (@Cameron_Gray) May 11, 2019
— Ben (@AndStrats) May 11, 2019
Your modern American Left, folks.
— NancyBellicec (@Nancy_Bellicec) May 11, 2019
I feel like you need some help. I’m here to help. Do the following. Take your right index finger and thumb, grab the panties you got all twisted in your ass with them, and pull. Should feel better in a second.
— Freedom Recon (@FreedomRecon) May 10, 2019
My God man get a sense of humor
— Noah Pollak (@NoahPollak) May 11, 2019
PhD candidate in English ?
— Otinho (@Otinho20) May 11, 2019
Dude’s got a PhD in trolling.
— Mark Wengryn (@MarkWengryn) May 10, 2019
— Hmm. Interesting. (@kime585) May 11, 2019
— Dan Stringer, Director, Pornhub Video Monetization (@Danstringer74) May 10, 2019
— Noe ??♥️ (@noe141967) May 11, 2019
Good one @JesseKellyDC ? Without a sense of humor life would be so boring. Lighten up world ? I have a feeling Jesse’s wife handles herself pretty well and gives him a run for his money.
— Page Wade (@PageWade) May 11, 2019
Oh my god the left truly doesn’t have a sense of humor. I imagine being on the left is like drowning in a liquid pit of ‘being offended’
— John Galt ?? (@ThatWasPerfect) May 10, 2019
— Schültzie (@muffnbear) May 10, 2019
— SomeDude (@somedude5000) May 11, 2019
It amazes me how easy it it for Jesse to do this. It’s absolutely hilarious
— kalifornication (@Mpgdad40) May 10, 2019
You need to relax more… pic.twitter.com/f2ZIfb7kaj
— Anthony (@2reconb_laxer) May 11, 2019
— Salty Damn Broad (@SaltyBlackBroad) May 11, 2019
Oh, please share with us what you find humorous. We're all on the edge of our modified milk crates.
— Scotty (@ScottsQuest) May 11, 2019
— JimBoDean (@JimBoDean1967) May 11, 2019
— MoonMoon (@Deceased_Meme) May 11, 2019
— Jac (@jac_recoveryjac) May 11, 2019
— pixie stix (@sourpixiestix) May 11, 2019
— Slightly Above Average Joe (@JoeWonTheGame) May 10, 2019
— Stacey (@mrsduncan76) May 11, 2019
Lighten up Francis
— A Mazed (@justamazd) May 11, 2019
Every time someone gets offended by one of Jesse’s jokes a feminist gets her gender studies degree
— Rational White Trash ? (@whiskey__fag) May 11, 2019
LOL one of the funniest guys on Twitter. The fact his fans know how much he loves his way wife and kids makes his tweets funny.
— Barbara Ansley (@BarbaraAnsley) May 11, 2019
Yes, he has fans.
Your modern American Left, folks. Incapable of humor.
— Paul (@Southie777) May 11, 2019
Seriously, pay the guy his $100.
The BLUE-CHECK MOB is very angry at Jesse Kelly for telling a joke about his kid's Lego robotics tournament https://t.co/aw0noqeFf2
— Twitchy Team (@TwitchyTeam) January 20, 2019