We all know that Trump Derangement Syndrome is a real thing, but couple that with Fox News Derangement Syndrome and it’s really time to see a doctor for a reality check.

It’s true that Fox & Friends weekend host Pete Hegseth is being eyed to perhaps take over as Secretary of Veterans Affairs from David Shulkin, but that’s no reason to panic unless you’re a columnist for USA TODAY like Jill Lawrence.

Seeing as Lawrence writes for USA TODAY, what’s the chance she actually read the story in her own paper?

On Fox and Friends Sunday morning, Hegseth told his co-hosts, Ed Henry and Jedediah Bila, that he didn’t believe in the sanitary activity. The admission was prompted by Bila calling out Hegseth for eating leftover day-old pizza on the set.

“My 2019 resolution is to say things on-air that I say off-air,” Hegseth said to his co-hosts. “‘I don’t think I’ve washed my hands for 10 years.”

As Henry and Bila laughed at this proclamation, Hegseth doubled down: “I inoculate myself,” he said. “Germs are not a real thing. I can’t see them; therefore, they’re not real.”

Lawrence probably didn’t read the story, only this handy pull quote from USA Today:

Newsweek got in on it too.

Jokes … how do they work?

Thank you, Chris Hayes. We rag on you a lot, but you’re an honest guy at least.

Alex Clearfield, who writes for the National Journal, actually enclosed in asterisks for emphasis, “does not believe in germs.” This is a blue-check journalist covering Congress, ladies and gentlemen. Hey, any real juicy stories going on in Congress today?

Of course, Clearfield got his news from Vox’s Aaron Rupar, an unimpeachable source:

How did anyone not know he was joking? Because then they could use his words to either disqualify him for VA Secretary and/or show how bad a judge of people President Trump is.

Guys, lighten up.