The piece by Tova Mirvis in Monday’s Washington Post is actually a reasonably sweet tale of a woman navigating the first Thanksgiving of a second marriage and trying to please everyone, but the tweet and headline promoting it sounds like an utter nightmare: the wokest Thanksgiving ever.
Perspective: What I learned when I tried to make my blended family a gluten-free, kosher, no-soy, vegan, organic, low-acid, no-dairy Thanksgiving https://t.co/eo0PVzKReh
— Washington Post (@washingtonpost) November 21, 2017
That you’re a selfish prick torturing your own family just to feel superior? https://t.co/m4NVQfNOWF
— WaPo's Callum Borchers Lies (@NolteNC) November 21, 2017
That’s what we thought, but really, it’s worth reading. Again, though, we wonder: aren’t there any media takes on Thanksgiving that don’t make the holiday sound like a politically charged Thunderdome or a sexist 1950s nightmare?
point of the story was a considerate lady trying her best — driving herself mad, and ultimately failing — to make a feast where everybody could eat everything. She’s the victim of the diet crazes, liberal insanity and kosher restrictions, not the perp.
— William Horsley (@WJayHorsley) November 21, 2017
If you don’t read the piece, at least scroll through the replies to that tweet promoting it. Come on: just the idea of a vegan, organic Thanksgiving set off our woke detectors.
Alright, which one you of wrote this? There's no way this is real. https://t.co/HdHMGPnmhh
— Chicago Joe (@adudeinaplace3) November 21, 2017
i got hives from reading this title https://t.co/b8kg38onkV
— Talia Lavin (@chick_in_kiev) November 21, 2017
What did she learn, really?
That nobody wants water for Thanksgiving https://t.co/Q8s1GPk4Jj
— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) November 21, 2017
That most likely you will die alone. https://t.co/kNPP2K5bcR
— Stephen Miller (@redsteeze) November 21, 2017
That you'll never be happy, just like the rest of the Democrats. https://t.co/ThM7ibvt6o
— Rep. Steven Smith (@RepStevenSmith) November 21, 2017
You learned that you're a miserable, self aggrandizing putz who kills the joy of everyone around you?
Liberals destroy everything that's good. Everything. https://t.co/8husu5di7K
— BlueReaganite (@ThinBlueLR) November 21, 2017
That you're a terrible human being, a life vampire who apparently enjoys sucking what little fun, taste and tradition remains for us in this life? I'm just spitballing here. https://t.co/awIUErcHFz
— Rusty Shackelford (@rshackelford14) November 21, 2017
That nobody wants to eat Thanksgiving dinner at your house because it sucks. https://t.co/qc8O27YT49
— Alexis In NH (@AlexisinNH) November 21, 2017
DING DING DING! Winner winner, Thanksgiving dinner.
That your family will never turn up again for Thanksgiving at your house? 😂😂😂 https://t.co/KeSk2l56wJ
— farmergeddon (@_Farmergeddon) November 21, 2017
— Jσнη (@OrAroundTen) November 21, 2017
That people actually want food for thanksgiving not dirt https://t.co/simzp4OGHe
— Ben Hitchcock (@hitchcockb21) November 21, 2017
You learned they never loved you…and they never will. https://t.co/cSUYSfVOF2
— Derek Hunter (@derekahunter) November 21, 2017
That I'm trying to live out SJW-hipster-doofus Twitter IRL and it doesn't work? https://t.co/IO5sLVEPdm
— Carl Gustav plus lots of unnecessary characters (@CaptYonah) November 21, 2017
— StompyMech (@Stmpy_Mch) November 21, 2017
You learned the family decided to go to someone else's house that served actual food? https://t.co/C0D3gYL0Wa
— Brad Slager 💻🥃🎬🍸 (@MartiniShark) November 21, 2017
That everyone eats before coming to your house? https://t.co/T3VgmkZuLx
— Charles Bellows (@CTBellows) November 21, 2017
There actually is a hell, and it's located in my dining room. https://t.co/qU6vGiR0ov
— Defene Mugabebotski Strator (@defenestratorX) November 21, 2017
Why family members turn into axe-murderers? https://t.co/Q1ZDdijJp3
— Populo Iratus (@cmahar3) November 21, 2017
That everyone now knows you care more about virtue signalling than having a good holiday? https://t.co/J3AHazfnDI
— Warlord Ralts (@TimWillard3) November 21, 2017
— #Translation Goat (@TranslationGoat) November 21, 2017
That plates are surprisingly aerodynamic. https://t.co/XzGGJwvaiS
— A Portrait of Torrian Gray (@torriangray) November 21, 2017
You are alone watching made-for-tv movies on holidays? https://t.co/VsGyQ3VQ64
— Cliff in ATX (@clifftx) November 21, 2017
That self loathing is not a victimless crime https://t.co/VyiNj0Fmzi
— Joshua Hathaway (@Skipper1913) November 21, 2017
That you need to learn to mind your own business? https://t.co/FxxdMJ8pGt
— History Prof Brad (@brad_duren) November 21, 2017
What’s one to do when there are so many people with so many dietary restrictions?
Did you serve them air and sunlight? https://t.co/naOV8TmV2v
— 🇺🇸 Fox Galt 🎄 (@fox_galt) November 21, 2017
"Mom can you pass the bowl of air?" https://t.co/E8fBqeSfed
— Fitz (@AFitzpatrick_) November 21, 2017
I always have a vegan option for guests.
It’s called the front lawn. https://t.co/zQYNtok6zc
— Rob Laurich (@rlaurich) November 21, 2017
Why don't you just waterboard them too? https://t.co/en7PZxsmDk
— Pedro Moffett (@realMoffett) November 21, 2017
This is the future liberals want https://t.co/k4YcKX8Ew8
— Rhodes (@irishskeptic) November 21, 2017
Narrator: Most of the thanks were given when people left. https://t.co/JQ0bkFN04D
— Confíteor Deo omnipoténti, et vobis fratres (@ConfiteorDeo) November 21, 2017
* * *
More Thanksgiving fun: Slate explains why turkey day is a sexist 1950s nightmare https://t.co/BYPpesxOtE
— Twitchy Team (@TwitchyTeam) November 21, 2017