Twitchy has noted a number of tortured sentence constructions that newspapers and websites have used to obscure exactly who did what to whom. We advise our readers to be especially suspicious of knives. Slate reported yesterday that there have been “at least 17 random stabbing attacks in Israel since last Wednesday.” Anyone could be in danger if these stabbing attacks are actually happening at random.

The knife problem extends to the United States as well. Gabriel Malor points out a blog post published today in Roll Call that describes the arrest of Tim Foster, an aide to Rep. Sander M. Levin (D-Mich.), on criminal domestic violence charges.

The fourth paragraph really does help set things up.

Foster put his boyfriend in a choke hold and stated, “I want to kill you. Die dirty faggy,” the man later told police. Foster released him, then allegedly grabbed a stainless kitchen knife. As the boyfriend fled toward the stairs, Foster chased him and warned, “When you reach the fifth step, I am going to stab you.”

Foster lunged at his boyfriend with the knife. But Foster’s wife “got in the way” and the knife then fell to the floor, the report states.

The chase between Foster and his boyfriend allegedly continued outside, where “Foster struck him in his upper back with a small black and red shovel. Foster continued to assault the man until he got into his vehicle, the report states.”

Not surprisingly, Levin’s office had no comment on the incident.