Chances are you didn’t need to show photo identification to vote for President Obama, but if you’re going to witness his inauguration in person Jan. 21, you’d better be prepared to prove who you are. Bring the kids’ IDs too. Why? Racism, duh.

The Washingtonian provides these handy tips for those headed to D.C. to cheer on the president:

Be prepared with valid ID (for yourself and every member of the family). Expect personal searches. Overhead will be air patrols. Sharpshooters will stand at the tops of buildings. Every surveillance camera in the city will be lit up. The security forces involved include the Metropolitan Police Department, the Capitol Police, the US Park Service Police, the Secret Service, and the Executive Protective Service.

Wow, sounds like there’ll be a lot of guns there. The Washingtonian also recommends you leave the following at home with your firearms: “backpacks, packages, suitcases, thermoses, coolers, pocket tools, sticks or poles, umbrellas, laser pointers, posters, alcohol, animals (except for service animals), and large bags.”

So, how soon until we hear cries of the administration trying to suppress attendance by asking for ID? Probably about the same time we’ll see protests against armed sharpshooters being stationed among a crowd filled with children, we’d guess.