As miserable as this year has been why not keep up the awfulness — there are still a few weeks left, after all.
Today came the announcement that the perpetually activist-minded ice cream company Ben & Jerry’s was partnering with the perpetually aggrieved former athlete Colin Kaepernick to create a new flavor label.
We’ve teamed up with @Kaepernick7! Introducing Change the Whirled Non-Dairy, the flavor that's supporting the fight to dismantle systems of oppression and empower Black and Brown people. Coming to freezers in 2021! Learn more: https://t.co/7c0Se2vut4 pic.twitter.com/LY90ObEwCj
— Ben & Jerry's (@benandjerrys) December 10, 2020
Colin sounds rather excited about the new partnership, as the proceeds from the sales will go towards his social justice foundation that supports defunding the police and criminal justice reform.
I’ve teamed up with @BenAndJerrys to serve up joy on the journey to justice!
Today, we're excited to introduce Change the Whirled, a new non-dairy flavor that hits shelves in early-2021!
100% of my proceeds will go to @yourrightscamp with matching support from Ben & Jerry's pic.twitter.com/OouYwUXPXK
— Colin Kaepernick (@Kaepernick7) December 10, 2020
It is an all vegan, non-dairy frozen dessert — in other words, they are honoring a fake quarterback appropriately by creating a fake ice cream.
Upon the news of this unappetizing offering a few people have decided there could be far better versions created which would be more accurate Kaepernick-themed desserts.
#BetterKaepernickIceCreamFlavors
Mint Shoulder Chip
— O Christmas G (@Grouchy_OG) December 10, 2020
Pick Six Layer Cake#BetterKaepernickIceCreamFlavors
— Federalist Musket?? (@Patriot_Musket) December 10, 2020
Take a Kneapolitan#BetterKaepernickIceCreamFlavors
— SavageInviteDeadPool (@SavageDP2018) December 10, 2020
Recommended
Third String Crunch#BetterKaepernickIceCreamFlavors
— Surfacedog, Random Ankle-Breaker (@SurfaceDog) December 10, 2020
Blackberries Matter#BetterKaepernickIceCreamFlavors
— Bullwork Online! The Bulwark Commentary Site (@TheBullwork) December 10, 2020
Empty carton (Communist flavor) #BetterKaepernickIceCreamFlavors
— Peculiar Baptist (@PeculiarBaptist) December 10, 2020
We see what you did there.
#BetterKaepernickIceCreamFlavors
Mussolini Tracks
— O Christmas G (@Grouchy_OG) December 10, 2020
That’s just solid right there.
Anti Apple Pie #BetterKaepernickIceCreamFlavors
— Smirk Dr. (@FoundersGirl) December 10, 2020
Defudge The Pralines#BetterKaepernickIceCreamFlavors https://t.co/8jbiu6PiAy
— Brad Slager Mail-splaining and Voter Resignation (@MartiniShark) December 10, 2020
#BetterKaepernickIceCreamFlavors
Banana Republic
— TheBullwark (@BullwarkOnline) December 10, 2020
The problem of course is the company might actually become inspired. There could end up being an entire line of washed-up ice cream flavors.
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