In the wake of statistician Obama cheerleader Nate Silver’s increasingly absurd gestures of overconfidence, a parody account has amassed more than 4,000 followers in the last three days. The counterfeit Silver waxes poetic about the methodologies of poll aggregation, penning miniature sonnets of love to his methodology.
I carved tonight's projection on a sapling deep in the Rocky Mountains. He who finds it wins Colorado.
— Nate Silver 2.0 (@fivethirtynate) November 5, 2012
@TheStalwart @jazzshaw Mathematics exists without you, but can you exist without it? Who then is the light, and who is the shadow?
— Nate Silver 2.0 (@fivethirtynate) November 4, 2012
Go to the ocean. Cup your hands and drink its salty foam. This is your sample size. What lurks within its abyssal depths?
— Nate Silver 2.0 (@fivethirtynate) November 3, 2012
Faux-Silver also finally reveals the secret origins of the vaunted lagging indicator that is the five-thirty-eight model.
Is the map contracting? Is the map expanding? I ask the tectonic plates for guidance. Their reply shall take one thousand years.
— Nate Silver 2.0 (@fivethirtynate) November 5, 2012
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The last Aztec shaman whispered to me his methodology. "Don't oversample partisans," he warned. "Tenochtitlan fell to independent voters."
— Nate Silver 2.0 (@fivethirtynate) November 3, 2012
Now we know the source of Nate’s confidence! The predictions come from the tectonic plates themselves, with help from the Aztec gods! How can a model of such divine origin be wrong?
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