In the wake of statistician Obama cheerleader Nate Silver’s increasingly absurd gestures of overconfidence, a parody account has amassed more than 4,000 followers in the last three days. The counterfeit Silver waxes poetic about the methodologies of poll aggregation, penning miniature sonnets of love to his methodology.

Faux-Silver also finally reveals the secret origins of the vaunted lagging indicator that is the five-thirty-eight model.

Now we know the source of Nate’s confidence! The predictions come from the tectonic plates themselves, with help from the Aztec gods! How can a model of such divine origin be wrong?