Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad tried to bring a zen-like calm to the set of CNN’s “Piers Morgan Tonight.” At the start of the interview, he put on a classic display of creepy, overdone calmness that could rival Hannibal Lecter. His blank, insane eyes bored into the souls of millions of riveted viewers as he reassured them that they had nothing to fear.

On Syria, he painted himself as a peacemaker but took the Ron Paul line by declaring that he opposes violence in other countries.

He also wouldn’t give a straight answer on who he thought was behind the 9/11/01 terrorist attacks but seems to think that three-quarters of Americans are “nebulous” as to who did it.

Then there was the Israel question, which didn’t seem to get as straight of an answer as he gave the U.N.

The zen of Ahmadinejad did break on the subject of the Holocaust, where Morgan found himself accused of imposing his own ideas.

All of that seemed to lead up to the big issue, the crescendo, the topic that finally pushed the dictator over the limit. Women on skis!

That’s right — the stunned silence from Ahmadinejad wasn’t about the Holocaust, homosexuality, or Israel. Girls on skis, however, were too much for him.  Ahmadinejad claimed he was hearing of the ban for the first time, but wouldn’t indicate whether he would allow it. He was so uncomfortable that he tried to shift the conversation back to homosexuality, which suddenly seemed like a safer subject.

Finally, Piers mercifully ends the slow motion train wreck with the simple question he says he asks everybody. So, how many times has Ahmadinejad been in love?

Unless of course those people are Jewish, gay, American, Christian, or want to go skiing.