'You teed that one up': Joyce Carol Oates didn't quite think through this analogy for conservatives

what a silly, stunted, smug self-righteous, not to mention absolutely wrong, worldview. https://t.co/FZbfnQ95Or

— DanRiehl (@DanRiehl) May 23, 2016

If you’re a conservative, Joyce Carol Oates has you pegged. Or at least, she thinks she does:

A conservative is one who has articulated very good reasons for why he isn't going to give you his hand to pull you out of the water. #Drown

— Joyce Carol Oates (@JoyceCarolOates) May 22, 2016

For starters, that’s just plain wrong in so many ways:

Interesting because many cops, firefighters, nurses, doctors are conservative. Nothing like being a narrow minded fool

— Silas (@horsesandhounds) May 22, 2016

https://twitter.com/Olscore/status/734431718510350336

I'm a conservative.. And an RN who has saved many lives.. What have you done?? You are a liar

— jamieq (@nativetxanj) May 22, 2016

https://twitter.com/JustEric/status/734455608192212996

Studies consistently show that conservatives donate more to charity than liberals do, but tell me more. https://t.co/hsgXk59YOj

— Michael Freeman (@michaelpfreeman) May 22, 2016

https://twitter.com/BradThor/status/734423259400294402

A progressive is one who demands a $356b Federal Aquatic Safety Dept. instead of pulling you out of the water. https://t.co/nxp2O3SiY6

— jon gabriel (@exjon) May 22, 2016

https://twitter.com/hboulware/status/734427495332782082
https://twitter.com/CardsFanTX/status/734428791594831872
https://twitter.com/RedGalBlueState/status/734569195350962177

Recommended

MOSTLY PEACEFUL UPenn Protesters Harass Students With Strobe Lights, Threats

Amy Curtis

Advertisement

A liberal is one with a deep-seated psychological need to feel morally superior to those who disagree with them. https://t.co/dQoGNeyVvw

— David B. Cohen (@DavidBCohen1) May 22, 2016

But wait a second…

Does Oates really want to take that route?

No, that's Ted Kennedy. https://t.co/L7AeoPr4sr

— Charles C. W. Cooke (@charlescwcooke) May 23, 2016

D’oh!

https://twitter.com/AmericnElephant/status/734549946054086656
https://twitter.com/c_m_barnhart/status/734473623147270146
https://twitter.com/CarlToddHand/status/734542062952062977

"I regard as indefensible the fact that I did not report the accident to the police immediately."–Ted Kennedy https://t.co/0JTU3iALMD

— James Taranto (@jamestaranto) May 23, 2016

Oates’ analogy has officially failed.