There’s really something wrong with Joss Whedon, and we’re not just saying that after having seen his short film dramatizing the horrors that would face women were Planned Parenthood to be defunded.

“Unlocked” shows what three women have to endure in an unnaturally blue-tinted world where the government has “shut down” Planned Parenthood. And older woman dies of breast cancer; a younger woman cries a lot when she finds out she’s pregnant and apparently can’t go away to college; and a school girl contracts an STD.

Thank him for using his directing talent rather than his, um, unique comedy stylings.

On the plus side, “Unlocked” isn’t as bad as “Avengers: Age of Ultron.” But we found it difficult to tear up watching the woman die of cancer knowing that Whedon had not too long ago taken a cheap shot at Paul Ryan by using a photo of childhood cancer survivors for his prop comedy routine. (He eventually deleted the tweet.)

Entertainment outlets like EW were happy to reprint Whedon’s statement on Planned Parenthood word-for-word, quoting him as saying “anyone trying to shut it down is committing an act of evil. It’s not just inhumane — it’s inhuman.”

“I just wanted to remind those of us with some humanity still stirring how much is at stake,” he added. Again, we’d be touched if we didn’t know Whedon’s sense of humanity includes wishing that Ryan (again) would be raped to death by a rhinoceros. Maybe the Planned Parenthood peer educator in his little movie could use her “Respect, Protection, Consent” poster to teach him that rape is bad.

“Make it so that we don’t know what it is.”

It took a special effect added in post by the American Life League, but having the shuttered Planned Parenthood leave directions on its door to actual health care centers would have been thoughtful.

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