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Scientists hope advancing Doomsday Clock to Trump Standard Time inspires action, not panic

America has been on pins and needles since earlier this week, when the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists announced it would be moving the minute hand on its symbolic Doomsday Clock, itself the mother of every tedious PowerPoint presentation ever made.

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Today was the big day, and if something felt a little off but you couldn’t quite place it, chances are it was the sudden 30-second leap toward armageddon being felt subconsciously.

The announcement was good news if you’d bet on the minute hand moving closer to midnight. What a shocker.

The minute hand had already advanced to 11:57 p.m. during the Obama administration, in part because climate change now is factored into the timepiece most commonly associated with nuclear war. Hook up Donald Trump’s rhetorical output to the battery, though, and you’ve shaved 30 seconds off humankind’s commute to oblivion.

“We’re so concerned about the rhetoric, and the lack of respect for expertise, that we moved it 30 seconds,” said Rachel Bronson, executive director and publisher of the bulletin. “Rather than create panic, we’re hoping that this drives action.”

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It would have been nice if she’d said that earlier, before several reporters at the press conference dove out the window in existential terror, but there’s still hope for the rest of us.

https://twitter.com/DelimaAntonio/status/824777856655949836

https://twitter.com/hercu_armstrong/status/824773926052036608

https://twitter.com/TomRambeau/status/824774978423894016

It really would be best if anyone troubled by this press conference headed immediately to their fallout shelters and set the timer on the lock for 2025 or so.

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https://twitter.com/ANTRACING/status/824775478154231808

 

 

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