If you’re in D.C. tonight, you might want to pass on the White House or, then again, maybe not. The White House has released its menu for tonight’s Halloween festivities, and along with that serving of dried fruit (don’t tell FLOTUS) is a box of special White House M&Ms, jelly beans, and the finishing touch: a White House sweet dough butter cookie made by White House executive pastry chef Bill Yosses.

Is it just us, or do the jelly beans make anyone else nostalgic?

Follow-up SAT question:

  • Politiwars

    I have no problem with what they are handing out. There are more important things to worry about.

  • Michelle ✓classified

    Jelly Beans…in honor of Ronald Reagan! How unintentionally fantastic of them.

    • CatHerder ✓fire! ✓fire!

      Actually, it doesn’t sound bad at all. I love dried fruit and so do my granddaughters. The rest of the package comes as a surprise, though.

      • nc ✓s & balances

        I think the whole package sounds pretty awesome. Blind squirrel moment.

        • Michelle ✓classified

          Squirrel! Huge fan of fresh fruit. Dried fruit? #NotSoMuch

      • Mr_Wrestling_XIII

        Yep, it’s like sweet beef jerky! Love dried mango and pineapple!

        • nc ✓s & balances

          Dates, mmm.

      • rssllue

        I have heard that dried fruit goes great with Kool-Aid so it is obvious why they are giving that to the kids.

    • nc ✓s & balances

      I’m sure it never occurred to them.

      • Michelle ✓classified

        And that, my friend, is what makes it totally delightful!

    • Mr_Wrestling_XIII

      It has to be the Jelly Belly brand! Reagan’s favorite brand and Huffpo is calling it “evil”, so they must be doing something right!

  • adam

    Surprised it wasn’t prunes.

    • Michelle ✓classified

      Or sour grapes.

  • TTTCOTTH

    At least they’re not handing out floss

  • annoyinglittletwerp

    Wish I lived closer to DC. The kids could stop at my place. I’m giving out Hershey’s!

    • Rusty Shackleford

      We didn’t have that many trick or treaters this year at our townhouse. Rained in Maryland. So much Hersheys tempting me

      • annoyinglittletwerp

        My part of Texas had gorgeous weather. I got one treater.. I’ll be sending our candy w/ my son when he goes to work tomorrow.

  • SideTraKd

    Dried fruit is awesome! Can we keep the fruit and get rid of the Obamas..?

    • WisconsinPatriot

      YEAHHHH!

  • BoscoBolt

    Why are WE paying for this?

    • HanaFiveO

      B/c we always have. Its a WH tradition. Like the Christmas trees and gingerbread mansion.

  • JeffWRidge

    What are White House M&Ms? Mischief and Mayhem?

    • RogueRose

      MO and Moron??

  • WisconsinPatriot

    OMG, I wish I was trick or treating there (48 yr old white male “tea-tard”). That sounds like EVERYTHING I want. I love dried fruit.

    • John W.

      Sorry, I believe the trick-or-treating at the White House is by invitation only. To get through the front gate, the children will have to be accompanied by their parents, and their parents must be campaign bundlers. Oh and also, the parents must be bringing at least a suitcase-size “treat” for the incompetent Marxist. A doggie biscuit for the First Snack and a box of chocolate eclairs for FLOTUS is recommended but not required.

      • WisconsinPatriot

        DOH
        DOH
        DOH!!!
        *sigh*

  • SpaceRacer423

    Getting the dried fruit wasn’t bad.
    I am more than a little upset that Obama took all the other candy in my bag while telling me “it didn’t meet the new standards,” and “I didn’t really want to keep it.”

  • http://macsen573.wix.com/overdrive Macsen Overdrive ✓re-rolled

    Dirty little secret: dried fruit might actually be worse than candy in terms of sugar content.

    • CatHerder ✓fire! ✓fire!

      I think I see apricot in there…GANGWAY!

    • Jennifer

      Beat me to it. But then again, why would we think this administration would do their due diligence on anything.

    • John W.

      As a matter of fact, I happen to have a box of dried cranberries here, and according to the package, one serving (one-fourth of a cup) contains 26g of sugar. I also happen to have a package of snack-size Butterfinger bars. According to the package, one serving (two of the snack-size bars) contains 17g of sugar.

  • CO2 Producer

    Little did the children realize they were also getting rocks. Enormous, destructive, resource-depleting rocks.

  • ceemack

    Oh, great. They’re going to get the White House TPed.

  • therealguyfaux ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    When I were but a mere strip of a lad, the urban legend, along with the “Razor blade in the apple,” was the “Chocolate bar that was really Ex-Lax.”

    Something tells me the dried fruit is the modern-day Progressive version of the latter. Maybe not as quick acting, but, there you are. OK, I said it– so sue me.

  • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

    prune.

    noun – dried plum.

    verb – to cut or lop superfluous or undesired twigs, branches, or roots from; trim. to rid or clear of (anything superfluous or undesirable). to remove (anything considered superfluous or undesirable).

  • QueenB ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    OMG – The White House is gonna get TP’d.

  • Chip

    Why not hand out more candy? They’ve been handing out Whoppers for the last four years….

    • John W.

      As I understand it, the talented White House chefs can whip up a burger which is an exact duplicate of the Burger King Whopper, down to the smallest detail. This comes in handy when FLOTUS is up and about in the wee hours of the morning and decides to indulge her craving for a Whopper or six.

      • Chip

        That burger has a code name. It is called the Moochelle Royale with Cheese.

  • LinTaylor ✓vitrified

    What do you want to bet the trash cans right nearby the White House are going to be full of Michelle’s little “goody bags” come tomorrow morning?

  • TYPE O NEGATIVE

    Obama gets a serving of dried roast beef once a month, if you know what I’m saying

  • Brent Guthrie

    White House monogrammed BIRTH CONTROL PILLS for all the little trick-or-treaters!

  • ChrisOeste

    Mendacity and Marxism

  • Rusty Shackleford

    Dried mango is good as hell. That being said, give me peanut butter cups or give me death!

  • AZWarrior

    Even though it was decades ago, my mother inspected our goodies as soon as we finished trick or treating. Anything not store bought and still fully sealed in a factory wrapper went in the trash. The White House should know better than give out homemade treats.

    • John W.

      If it makes you feel any better, the dried fruit came straight from the White House garden that has been suffering such neglect lately. No dehydration necessary, it’s all freshly picked.

      • AZWarrior

        LOL. Now that was a good one John.

  • John

    respectable…no story here

  • Chris Service

    Did it come with a request to register to vote?

  • usorthem3

    Reminds me of the days making pink peanut patties & caramel popcorn balls with my grandmother to give for the holiday.