‘Holey’ Cow! Wisconsin Bovine Survives Being Impaled by Tornado-Thrown Wooden Beam - New Name Solicited

A startling photo is circulating on X - a cow with a large plank of wood jutting from its body. How did it get there? A tornado swept through Wisconsin on Friday, and high winds sent the 2x4 hurtling through the air like a spear, impaling the bovine creature. Amazingly, the animal survived.

Now, one X user is soliciting a new name for this curious cow. (READ)

This cow in Wisconsin survived being impaled by a 2x4 during a tornado yesterday.

What would you name it? pic.twitter.com/YfsOFILbBX

— Brick Suit (@Brick_Suit) May 17, 2025

The tornados in Wisco Thursday ripped apart a local farm a 2x4 even impaled a cow, don’t worry she survived! pic.twitter.com/9vxoKrr394

— Americana Pipedream Apparel (@amerpipedream) May 17, 2025

Im questioning this pic. There is no blood?

— Patriot D (@dmuscrat) May 17, 2025

https://t.co/HyKzfP5AMN

— Brick Suit (@Brick_Suit) May 17, 2025

Yes, this really happened!

We’ll start with one of the best proposed names.

Moo by Four.

— Anthony Gomez (@AnthonyFGomez) May 17, 2025

I legit laughed out loud

— Brick Suit (@Brick_Suit) May 17, 2025

That’s pretty good.

This next one seems obvious, but is still funny; they throw in some extra names, too.

It has to be Stake

but if the tornado had taken its legs its name would be Ground Beef

and if the tornado had taken only the legs from one side, it would have to be Lean Beef

— Chris Bray (@a_chrisbray) May 17, 2025

Ground beef 😅

— Brick Suit (@Brick_Suit) May 17, 2025

We like this next one, too.

It's a beef stick

— Jeremy View (@Jeremyview) May 17, 2025

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That it is.

— Brick Suit (@Brick_Suit) May 17, 2025

We’ve got many more creative options. See if one is your favorite.

Kebab?

— Mark Mitchell, Rasmussen Reports (@honestpollster) May 18, 2025

Shishcowbob

— Shortturd Stox (@ShortTurdStox) May 18, 2025

💯 % Beef Stake

— Ellen 🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅MAGA! (@EllenDickhaus) May 18, 2025

Plank Steak

— Todd Moses (@moses_todd_ZR) May 18, 2025

Elsie Boarden (Borden’s advertising cow was Elsie)

— Keith Rudd (@KeithWRudd) May 18, 2025

Shishcowbob

— Shortturd Stox (@ShortTurdStox) May 18, 2025

Woody

— Null 💫 (@TterThe) May 17, 2025

Windy.

— Dale Wolfe (@DaleWolfe12) May 18, 2025

Pierce.

— Ol' Dirty Hamster (@oldirtyhamster) May 17, 2025

it's great she's impossible to tip now

— The Mustachioed James (@HiThere144) May 17, 2025

That's true. All those names are great! If you have a funny one to add, put it in the comments.