Maybe Lanny Davis forgot what happened the last time a bunch of Democrats threw a temper tantrum and decided to secede from the country.
https://t.co/7z5KfdDKqO pic.twitter.com/GTV9CNPJhq
— Patrick McMurphy (@mcmurphy_pat) September 26, 2020
Or maybe he’s just another silly troll on Twitter having a conniption fit because ‘orange man bad.’
And ‘orange man bad’ is not only climbing in the polls but appointing another SCOTUS justice.
1) DEAR RED STATES; WE'RE LEAVING.
We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, we're taking the other Blue States with us…that includes Hawaii, Oregon, California, New Mexico, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and all the Northeast.— Lanny Davis (@LannyDavis) September 26, 2020
This would be a heckuva lot easier if ol’ Lanny would learn how to thread his freakin’ tweets.
Le sigh, the hazards of being a Twitchy editor.
Heh.
2)
this split will be beneficial to the nation, especially people of the new country including Puerto Rico, the U.S. Virgin Islands, Guam, and Washington D.C. We get the vast majority of the major shipping ports…good luck with getting goods in or out of the country affordably.— Lanny Davis (@LannyDavis) September 26, 2020
They can have D.C.
3) We also get Costco, Starbucks, and Boeing. You get Texas, Oklahoma, and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Branson, Missouri.
We get Intel, Apple, and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
— Lanny Davis (@LannyDavis) September 26, 2020
OMG WE GET ALL THE OIL.
And whatever will we do without pumpkin spice lattes?!
Boeing? B*tch please.
Branson, Missouri rules, thank you very much.
4) We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Mississippi.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue; you get to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's,
— Lanny Davis (@LannyDavis) September 26, 2020
Wow, this is really dumb.
5), we get a bunch of happier, intact families.
Please be aware that California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals.
— Lanny Davis (@LannyDavis) September 26, 2020
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
So pro killing innocents in the womb but anti killing bad guys in other countries.
Sounds legit.
6) They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home.
With the Blue States unified, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's freshwater,
— Lanny Davis (@LannyDavis) September 26, 2020
Trump has done more to end wars than Obama ever did but ok.
There is no seven, just FYI.
Funny that he can’t even number these tweets as he pretends to be so high and mighty in his blue-dom.
8) more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at your state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal,
— Lanny Davis (@LannyDavis) September 26, 2020
We’re not entirely sure where these stats came from but eh.
9) all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools — Brown, Columbia, Cornell, Dartmouth, Harvard, the Penn, Princeton, and Yale; and Mount Holyoke, Vassar, Smith, Wellesley, Bryn Mawr, Barnard, and Radcliffe colleges;
— Lanny Davis (@LannyDavis) September 26, 2020
Dammit.
We don’t get to keep Yale?
Whatever will we do?
10) plus UCLA, UCB, Stanford, Cal Tech, and MIT.
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes,
— Lanny Davis (@LannyDavis) September 26, 2020
We know.
It’s stupid.
Keep reading.
11) 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Alex Jones, and Rand Paul.
We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
— Lanny Davis (@LannyDavis) September 26, 2020
We’ll take Rand.
And Yellowstone National Park.
Thanks.
14Additionally, 62 percent of you believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals,
— Lanny Davis (@LannyDavis) September 26, 2020
Wow, this is stupid.
12 and 13 are both missing.
15) , then we lefties. (See that part about divorces. …)
Oh, and you can have all the new COVID-19 cases since you're too dumb and self-centered to wear masks.
Peace out.
We are the people of the Blue States
— Lanny Davis (@LannyDavis) September 26, 2020
Except the blue states are really only blue because of certain blue areas. Like in Wisconsin, Democrats can have Madison and Milwaukee but the rest of the state will stay with the red states. We think that’s only fair. And hey, they can have Houston out of Texas … that’s fair too right?
— Courtney (@AlaskanCourtney) September 26, 2020
You take the blue areas, we will take the red ones. Deal? pic.twitter.com/6oHOGbdmoY
— Rabiddogg (@Rabiddogg) September 26, 2020
Agreed.
Those little blue dots all belong to them.
The rest stays put.
— Pradheep J. Shanker (@Neoavatara) September 26, 2020
Cool. Here's a flag for your new country. Maybe you'll have better luck with it than the previous owners. pic.twitter.com/HGm46ZNQf8
— Agent UPC-57D (@Klingenlaufer) September 26, 2020
It’s always been their flag.
Promises, promises.
— Dr Evil (@MD_STAT) September 27, 2020
— Being Libertarian (@beinlibertarian) September 26, 2020
When MI & WI, and possibly MN go for Trump, they'll no longer be considered blue states…But take the rest of them & get out. And after your communist bullshit crashes your blue country. Don't ask our prosperous, free market red country for aid. The answer will be HELL NO!
— Christy Waters (@ThatChristyChic) September 27, 2020
President Trump won Ohio by 10 points, so keep taking those drugs.
— Rick Voll (@flake1101) September 27, 2020
Dear Democrats, this plan didn't work out too well for you last time.
— Rev. Suicide (@Rev_Suicide) September 27, 2020
But go ahead.
Knock yourselves out.
***
Related:
Join the conversation as a VIP Member