The CHANI app provides ‘astrology for self-discovery, mindfulness, and healing’. Ted Frank tweeted the employee benefits from the ‘careers’ page for the app, and whoa boy!

It’s quite a list, right? It’s the perfect mix of woke, impractical, discriminatory, and crazy.

We thought we weren’t even qualified to apply for a job with CHANI, but we’re pretty sure we experienced systemic oppression by the time we finished reading their career page, so maybe’s there’s a chance?

We couldn’t wait to see how you all responded to this one!

Right? What kind of monsters would expect a menstruating trans woman to sit at her desk all day?

It’s always funny watching people try to apply logic to these things.

Get hired. Declare you’re using ‘unlimited vacation’. What could go wrong? LOL.

The Babylon Bee would probably try to be more subtle.

HAHAHAHA!

Right? You may want to consider publishing a Native American cookbook to boost your chances of getting hired.

Would watch.

It’s a valid question.

Uranus retrograde impaction sounds painful, frankly.

We live in odd times, folks.