We’ve seen some weird stuff in the mainstream media lately … well, weird for normal people, normal for journalists in the mainstream media. ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, according to the Washington Post, was an “austere religious scholar” first and foremost. The members of Iran’s Quds Force who attacked the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad were “mourners.”
And terrorist Qasem Soleimani was described by the Washington Post as Iran’s “revered military leader,” despite people in Iran celebrating his death in the streets.
Was the assassination of #Soleimani an act of war? It will certainly be read that way in Iran and across the Middle East. An epic turn of events in the world's most volatile region that may ensure Soleimanis influence even in death. My @newyorker analysis. https://t.co/ni9C3CCTIt
— Robin Wright (@wrightr) January 3, 2020
But nothing could prepare us for the New Yorker’s “analysis” of the death of Soleimani, written by Robin Wright.
Good morning to everyone except The New Yorker!
"Suleimani, a flamboyant former construction worker and bodybuilder with snowy white hair, a dapper beard, and arching salt-and-pepper eyebrows…"
— Imam of Peace / Pray for Peace… (@Imamofpeace) January 4, 2020
"Suleimani, a flamboyant former construction worker and bodybuilder with snowy white hair, a dapper beard, and arching salt-and-pepper eyebrows"
WTF? ? https://t.co/nTOEW9eKkX
— Queen Paola ?? ?? ?? (@Paola_Dec1231) January 4, 2020
I heard he made a hell a good chocolate chip cookie too.
— I AIN’T LYIN’ (@ELCAMINONEGRO) January 4, 2020
"austere" is so 3 months ago… Let's use flamboyant!! ?
— Minimander (@Minimander1) January 4, 2020
He was so dreamy.
— Ian Ross (@IanrossWins) January 4, 2020
The New Yorker just walked him out of a romantic fantasy. I thought he was more familiar with throwing missiles than looking sexy.
— Sir Dickson (@Wizarab10) January 4, 2020
I thought you were joking, but thats what they wrote for real ?!
— Miss S (@ItsMssS) January 4, 2020
New Yorker, 1932: “Compact and dynamic, with a tidy clipped mustache, this Austrian artist captivates audiences with his wistful, folksy tales…”
— Tim Bagwell (@Bama_Tim) January 4, 2020
He was a real family man who never missed his kids soccer games
— Quartz (@Quartz95290058) January 4, 2020
He loved children and played ukelele. Such a loss.
— Wilcham (@witmich) January 4, 2020
He was a handsome killer ???with a "Dapper" beard who likes animals and walking on the beach holding hands. lol #TerroristDatingSite
— Miss Know-it-all (@KittyBlowsGlass) January 4, 2020
Sounds like someone at New Yorker had a crush on him…
— Piyush Banerjee (@PiyushBanerje15) January 4, 2020
What a sweet, poignant eulogy. Almost brings tears to my eyes.
— Scáthach (@jo_enck) January 4, 2020
Thoughts and prayers for you during this difficult time
— ?Paddy O’Dhonnabhain? (@ODhonnabhain) January 4, 2020
My condolences for your loss.
— Perry Bullock (@PerryBullock) January 4, 2020
Hard losing a loved one. So sorry for your loss
— Fire wife ? Paula. Text TRUMP TO 88022 (@Firewife_Paula) January 4, 2020
Pray for Robin. She's really struggling w/her loss. "Suleimani, a flamboyant former construction worker and bodybuilder with snowy white hair, a dapper beard, and arching salt-and-pepper eyebrows, gained notice during the eight-year war with Iraq, in the nineteen eighties." https://t.co/T671hEPDyG
— Ella Vader ????? (@kilomikealpha76) January 4, 2020
A huge shout-out to The People’s Cube for the meme:
Soleimani eulogy in the @NewYorker reads like a romance novel, authored by a dreamy woman with darkly erotic fantasies about sadistic tyrants & their BDSM dungeons, which gets subliminally encoded in her body of work.https://t.co/1Qvy7PupoN#Soleimani @TheNewYorker_fa pic.twitter.com/zaSdhcdGES
— The Most Revered People's Cube ?? (@ThePeoplesCube) January 4, 2020
What did you think of her follow-up article “General Suleimani gave me the Spanking I Deserve “?
— Garrett Powell (@GarrettsBrain) January 4, 2020
She thought he was smoking hot before we even bombed him.
— SP (@SP_Fury) January 4, 2020
— Texican (@AK49AT) January 4, 2020
That’s not even all of it. Remember how killing Soleimani was like taking out Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, and Captain America all in one? Wright had some choice words for Soleimani’s elite Quds Force as well:
The Quds – similar to the SEALS, Delta Force, and Rangers combined? GTFOH
— Gary Ullrich (@garyullrich) January 4, 2020
The Quds: “Iranian commandoes equivalent to the SEALs, Delta Force, and the Rangers, combined.? ????????? Right. And I am the King of Old Siam.
— David Alexander (@PrincesssDad1) January 4, 2020
did "NewYorker" REALLY say that the Quds is = "Seals" + "Delta force" + "Rangers" *combined* ?
— Aditya Arunachalam #நாளைய_தமிழகம்_ரஜினி (@IamSukhoi) January 4, 2020
Exactly, combined! Lol
— Daniel Gabatel (@danielgabatel) January 4, 2020
"Suleimani, a flamboyant former construction worker and bodybuilder with snowy white hair, a dapper beard, & arching salt-&-pepper eyebrows, gained notice during the eight-year war with Iraq, in the 1980s." He was a terrorist. You're acting like you had his poster on your wall.
— Ella Vader ????? (@kilomikealpha76) January 4, 2020
VIP » Journo compares shock value of Soleimani’s death to ‘taking out Lincoln, Washington and Captain America all in one’ https://t.co/GVq4MhV1EY
— Twitchy Team (@TwitchyTeam) January 3, 2020