No, no you are not. Twitter users were buzzing over a great mystery during and after game 6 of the World Series.

What was up with David Ortiz’s helmet and goggles?


The mystery continued this morning. Get on the ball, Internet!

Wednesday night, many Twitter users were too busy gasping for breath to unravel the mystery.

The real MVP? David Ortiz’s get-up.

Was the mystery solved eventually?


Priceless indeed.

And an exit question:

Make it happen, Twitter.

  • Guest

    Man people are dense… He wears the googles for the after party when the champagne flys and so many people hit him on the head as part of the celebration he has said, “I wear the helmet to protect my brain and hair’

    • max

      That makes sense, but [citation needed]

    • rssllue

      To protect his eyes from stinging and his head from ringing!

    • lillymckim

      Love Ortiz and his sense of humor. The Boston Red Sox are the best! Congratulations to all! What a season!

  • Garrett Gripling

    Never mind.

  • philips66

    When the 2013 World Series Champion Boston Red Sox celebrate, you need a helmet. And the goggles help when getting hundreds of bottles of champagne splashed in your face. We are #BostonStrong

    I bet when Big Papi thanked God for this success, some lefty heads exploded.

    • Arkuy The Great

      Whodathunkit. We did end up with Tim Tebow in New England after all!

    • Pinkie Chien

      Yes, because lefties hate it when there is real evidence of God. In this case, God granted Ortiz a magical wish because he asked… and, apparently, no one on the Cardinals asked.
      Also, if you knew anything about Christianity you’d know its sacrilegious to invoke Gods name for something winning a baseball game. Its also sacrilegious to even infer that you know what god is thinking or why he does what he does.
      How is your head how?

      • hrh40

        Did you hear his speech?

        Because he didn’t say what you think he said. He thanked God for helping Boston through the bombing. And for being with them through the season. He did not thank God for answering his prayer that the Red Sox win.

        Straw man, much?

        You might want to stop trotting out your canned lectures whenever you think they might vaguely apply … and actually know what you’re talking about when you comment on a specific incident.

        • Pinkie Chien

          If there was a god, and he gave a shit, he wouldn’t have let that bombing happen… think much?
          What kind of loving god does that… and then says “Oh, to make up for it, your base-ball team can win some silly games”?

  • therealguyfaux ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    “Ayuh– them ballplayers nowadays are such pantywaists, Bub– why, back in MY day, you took the champagne in your eyes, like a MAN– if we even HAD champagne– much of the time, if it even WAS wine, it was cold duck– usually it was tonic water (believe YOU call it ‘seltzer’ in the rest of the country)– if we even had bottles of anything at all– but then again, we played with broken arms and legs, not like these complaining little ninnies today, Bub…”

    • M F Scotto

      Tonic water and seltzer are two different things. Tonic water has quinine in it and has a distinctly bitter flavor. Just sayin’

      • therealguyfaux ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

        Actually, it was meant to be a take-off on the comedian Parker Fennelly, who did a character called Titus Moody, a New Englander who talked like that. (A more irascible and sardonic version of Cliff Clavin.) He did those “Pepperidge Faahm Remembuhs!” commercials, if you can recall them.

        • Julie the Jarhead

          “And we LIKED IT!”

        • Arkuy The Great

          “‘Scuse me, sir. Can we take this road to the mountains?”

          “No, suh, We needs it right cheah.”

          • therealguyfaux ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

            “We’re headed for Springfield…”
            “Ayuh– yuh don’t see me stoppin’ yuh, Bub…”

          • therealguyfaux ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

            “So, Ty, I understand you didn’t much care for radios when they first came out with them.”
            “Ayuh, Bub– seemed to me at the time there was no good reason to make some contraption that amounted to being ‘talking furniture’.”

  • mickeyco

    No matter who’s your team- and mine sure isn’t the Sox or Cards- you really have to enjoy Papi. He plays so hard and seems to have a great time doing it.

  • j p✓ʳᵉᶠʳᶦᵉᵈ

    Should be mandatory party wear. He’s a smart man. You never know where a drunk will throw his beer bottle. His head must be worth millions.

  • LegalizeShemp

    It’s to protect him from your Mom’s bra strap from hitting him in the eyes or head.

  • allyall

    When I first saw it, I thought it must have a Go-Pro camera on it, but I don’t think so. That would have been a really cool thing, though. Disappointed.

    • R Brady

      So did I! I thought he was recording the celebration from the best vantage point possible. To realise that it was his party wear is just bizarre.

  • Wiki David

    Athlete… he’s been hit in the head before.