'28 dog years of experience in sales': How to ruin a resume hashtag game

President Obama has totally revived the economy (‘What is he smoking?’: POTUS: We’re much better off, people just don’t ‘feel it’), so naturally people are dusting off their resumes to get one of those high tech jobs that will be available as soon as we raise the minimum wage.

What better time to have a hashtag game about how to #RuinAResume?

It is officially 10:30 on the EAST COAST! My life partner @nerdgangbang and I bring you: #RuinAResume! pic.twitter.com/08XBQ2fT2a

— ?ᒎᗝᗩᑎᗩ☃️ (@Jorschach) September 29, 2014

Special Skills: My mom says my tweets are really quite clever and that people really like me #RuinAResume

— Christopher Nobody (@LouGeese) September 29, 2014

Cover letter made from the skin of a hobo. #RuinAResume

— ?Wipes Before He Weeps? (@WeepingCheeto) September 29, 2014

1994 Pogs World Champion #RuinAResume

— Travis Lindsay (@Trav_is_lindsay) September 29, 2014

Written in cut-out letters from various magazines #RuinAResume

— JOE ???? (@joemessin) September 29, 2014

Work well in a solo enviroment, i.e., leave me the f*** alone. #RuinAResume

— View from my Office (@viewfrommyoffic) September 29, 2014

https://twitter.com/kevinchaba/status/516416477273272320

I'm on Twitter…so there's that. #RuinAResume

— Mrs. Em (@Emphoto21) September 29, 2014

#RuinAResume

Selfie-folio

— Kacey (@KaceyecaK) September 29, 2014

#RuinAResume
Once killed a man in Reno just to watch him die.

— ♿️? Matt is a (@CrankyCyborg) September 29, 2014

Recommended

'Look at His Face'! Biden STUNNED (and Furious) As CNN Host Rattles Off List of BAD Economic Data

Doug P.

Advertisement

#RuinAResume liberally sprinkle "and whatnot" in the Job Responsibilities section.

— The Wall Street Bull understands statistics (@TheWallStBull) September 29, 2014

#RuinAResume
Hobbies: Baby photography, taxidermy, breeding Death's Head moths and sewing.

— Canis Pundit (@CanisPundit) September 29, 2014

I once sold weed to Danny Bonnaducci #RuinAResume

— Fox Band (@efoxband) September 29, 2014

I graduated from the University of Joaquin Phoenix Online #RuinAResume

— Dillonopolous (@KevinPDillon) September 29, 2014

https://twitter.com/Imaumbn/status/516423246430732289

https://twitter.com/Jorschach/status/516425216592187393

https://twitter.com/Imaumbn/status/516424838148128770

https://twitter.com/amstarbuxgal/status/516425023176052736

Grilled cheese expert. #RuinAResume

— Brian Smith (@MustBeTheMeds) September 29, 2014

Very very very very very very very very very extremely detail oriented #RuinAResume

— Maya Miller Time (@maya_dancer) September 29, 2014

I'm black (oh snap, I went there) #ruinaresume

— ⚡Mr. Brightside (@Will3K85) September 29, 2014

I graduated from the University of Joaquin Phoenix Online #RuinAResume

— Dillonopolous (@KevinPDillon) September 29, 2014

Featured on tosh.o #RuinAResume

— Danielle Rose, MPH?? (@inqvmnd) September 29, 2014

Personal/Hobbies: Single parent who enjoys spending quality time with my 7 children (ages 2mths to 6yrs) #RuinAResume

— Erin At Home™️ (@erincopeld) September 29, 2014

I just want a job that allows me to search for other jobs on the internet all day. #RuinAResume

— Karen Chan (@Karen__Chan) September 29, 2014

#RuinAResume Travis County District Attorney pic.twitter.com/JTfHj5THGp

— Daniel Snyder (@danmsnyder) September 29, 2014

I am obligated by law to inform you that… #RuinAResume

— ccain529 (@ccain529) September 29, 2014

Won a hashtag war #RuinAResume

— Danielle Rose, MPH?? (@inqvmnd) September 29, 2014

You’re hired!