Borrow. Because she’ll totally pay it back after splurging on tuition that limited edition Tiffany’s IUD.

You’ve come a long way, baby!

Out: tonsil vultures and foot rustlers. In: gold-plated condom thieves. Or thief. It’s just Mitt Romney coming for your luxury spermicide.

President Obama’s official campaign site features this precious e-card from a terrified young lass who fears the villainous Mitt Romney will do away with a lady’s God-given right to 18 grand in taxpayer-funded birth control. Why does Romney hate women? And diamond-encrusted diaphragms?

Kemberlee Kaye helpfully translates the e-card. She’s a giver:

“Hey Mom, how’s it going? So, I was hoping to get laid this weekend and was hoping you’d spot me $18,000 to buy birth control. I’ll like totally pay you back.”  SAID NO ONE EVER.

Math, it’s so very hard. Flukenomics: that’s where it’s at!


This isn’t the first time Team Obama has created, uh, friction with the $18,000 figure.

Evidently we’re to believe that’s how much the Trojan Man of the People will save the poor, beleaguered womenfolk over a lifetime.

Scary thought: take out the first sentence of the e-card and it could be a postcard from the future.


The question we may all soon be asking:

  • Jimni27

    BC ( YAZ) costs$45- $60 per month without insurance. I think someone’s lyin to her mama. Please someone think up a hashtag for this.

  • Netmilsmom

    Send me the 18,000 and I’ll send you back your condoms. We’ll both get what we want.

  • WingedBishop

    One would think after spending the first few thousand on abortions that there has to be a better way.

  • WingedBishop

    This explains the notice from my health insurer telling me they spent the 85% threshold of their total premiums and I wouldn’t get a refund per the socialist Affordable Care Act. So because someone else used $18,000 of birth control, I didn’t get a refund for my minimal medical costs.

  • RIChris

    For starters, the note was written by a guy, and he’s buying what he needs to use the birth control for.

    • Maria

      I doubt he even needs that, maybe he’ll use the money for a lot of porn, lotion, and kleenex.

  • Laura Wilson

    maybe she’s getting a permanent fix….

    • Jillane Kent

      That cost me 1,200 without insurance

  • orringtonmom (D)

    maybe the $18k is to have samuel l. jackson make angry faces and yell at her before she does something she’ll regret…

  • weRbroke

    Dear Daughter, Get a real job or shut your legs. remember, sluts aren’t respected. Luv Mom.

    • ZoriahShepard

      lol. Awesome.

  • carla5731

    The Obama campaign makes me feel like a genius! They keep pointing out so many things that I was able to accomplish without government interference that are insurmountable obstacles for Democrats. It never even occurred to me to ask my parents for help to pay for birth control either, and I doubt they would’ve added that category to the family budget anyway.

    • Shannon Piper

      Nancy Leigh DeMoss (Christian radio speaker) used the term once “extended adolescence” to refer to this generation of young adults. I feel like Obama’s policies are meant to extend it indefinitely. It’s so sad!

  • John (it true me am)

    Forget ATMs, thieves should go knock off convenience store bathroom condom machines.

  • dennylee60

    Dear Daughter,
    If you are going to have intimate relation with a man, make sure you find one who has a job and can afford birth control.

    In case this is written by a man:
    Dear Son,

  • Just Another Guy

    And yet….I can’t my Viagra paid for by Obama….what’s up with that????

    $10/pill –> 1,800 evenings of fun!

  • CaseyGeorge
  • txsoutherngrace

    $18K is a preposterous lie!

    You play you pay……… don’t want us in your bedroom, but you want us to pay for your bedroom activities? Give up a latte or 4, a couple of trips to the movies, or a night partying.

    • txsoutherngrace

      Walmart, Target and Kroger provide generic pill versions at $9 per
      month. Others can run $20 – 50/month plus an OBGYN visit or PP…..both
      do discounted rates on a cash basis or a co-pay under insurance and 80%
      of carriers cover this already … pre Obamacare. Morning after pill
      is $10-70 with co pays $10-30 and can be free depending on income.
      None prevent STDs……condoms are .50 to $1 each unless you’re into the
      cadillac versions.

      • Elizabeth

        I had some idiot argue with me that generic isn’t good enough….wth?

        • AMERICAN Kafir™(KAdams)

          We sell 3-packs of Trojans for $2.89+tax in our store.

          • Elaine

            She’s OBVIOUSLY talking about the two Planned Parenthood abortions she will need!

          • AMERICAN Kafir™(KAdams)

            Unless that amount is including inflationary pricing, there will still be plenty left over after those 2 to get a few more. Call around and check out the fees, 18k would cover almost 36 abortions. That amount is astronomical…. and a little bit insane.

          • Josephine (D)

            Not to mention heartbreaking. ;-;

          • Maria

            You get more bang for your buck using condoms and pills..and no murder.

        • falling321

          Betsy, generic is for the poor slobs working to PAY for the freebies Obama is handing out…those on the receiving end expect us to provide only the very best!

        • Donna Acosta

          Generic sex, or generic condoms? Or both?

        • txsoutherngrace

          While some generics may not work for some people.. that is true of many scripts. Regardless.. the monthly cost is not astronomical and if it is .. there are sliding scale fees depending on where one goes.

          • Will P.

            There are very few cases where a generic is inferior to a brand name drug in the United States, and to the best of my knowledge, none of the drugs are used for birth control. It’s not the individual who makes the difference, it’s actually the drug and the delivery system used.

      • Donna Acosta

        As a side note, there are 5 STDs you can catch *with* a condom: syphilis, gonorrhea, HPV, chlamydia, and herpes. No such thing as safe sex!

        • Noonespecial

          Sure there is! It’s called committed, faithful marriage!

          • Will P.

            The “Right Hand Only” method is also pretty safe.

    • nanette

      Yup they are such hypocrites!

    • ZoriahShepard

      My insurance wanted me to pay 130$ for my birth control. I opted for another method. See? Easy decision! Pay. Or don’t pay. Not that hard. But then…I’m a smart cookie so….

      • txsoutherngrace

        That works for now and yes you are a smart cookie…. but not if we don’t repeal Obamacare you will no longer have a choice to pay or not pay….to cover everyone else.

  • Dion Corrigan

    She obviously wants a 10 oz bar of gold bullion to hold between her knees

    • nanette


    • Edward Gadomski

      LOL funny I just bought a few 1oz pamp bars @ $1810 ea. so that math is right here!

  • SumItUp N. A. Pic

    I don’t know if I should be more worried about the fact they are lying about $18,000 for birth control when you can get free condoms almost anywhere, or if they are saying they the ACA is going to make free condoms cost $18,000.

  • PennyRobinsonFanClub

    Maybe it’s for one of those gold-plated diaphragms . . . .
    You know . . . .
    . . . so her boyfriend can come into some money. . .
    I’m sorry Your Honor, I’ll go stand in the corner . ..

    • AMERICAN Kafir™(KAdams)

      Ahahahahahaha! lol!!!

    • ZoriahShepard

      ? Nice.

  • kbielefe

    Ignore for a moment whether $18,000 is a reasonable lifetime cost or not. Ignore for a moment whether contraception is a “need” or not. The ridiculous part of this argument is the idea that things we need shouldn’t cost anything!

    We pay for the absolute essentials of food, clothing, and shelter without giving it a second thought. We also readily pay for “second tier” essentials like communications, sanitation, energy, and transportation. Shouldn’t those things be “free for everyone” before we work our way around to birth control?

    • joynlife

      I agree, except if I am paying for health insurance. The insurance should pay for ALL medications prescribed by the doctor the insurance company demands I see.

      • Will P.

        Including Viagra and Botox?

    • Shannon Piper

      Plus, there are plenty of much more important medications that we pay copays for. Like cancer drugs. So why is FREE birth control a “right”? There’s no logical argument here.

  • CodyGalt

    We have spent billions and billions fighting AIDS to support sexual activities and now millions for birth control. When do libs have time to get involved in politics with all that screwing going on?

    • Johnny Blade

      lol… yeah huh?

  • Johnny Blade

    So what was she doing about it 2 years ago?

  • CodyGalt

    DHS is buying billions of bullets to make the price go up, so why wouldn’t HHS buy BCs to run that price up as well? Economics at work!

  • Claire Adams

    Math is hard. explains why Senate can’t pass a budget, too.

    P.S. If she’s having that much sex with her husband, why don’t they have their own insurance? why is she asking her mommy? Grow up and be responsible.

    • AMERICAN Kafir™(KAdams)

      The Dems have control of the Senate. THAT’S why they can’t pass a budget. Dirty Harry Reed just plonks himself down on the floor and has a tantrum, and voila! Not passed.

  • rickg62

    They must think Obamacare will seriously extend lifespan. That works out to about 166 years worth of birth control.

    • Donna Acosta

      That’s a visual I reeeeeeally did not need…augh!

    • Maria

      Depending on the pricing, it’s about 30-100 years.

  • mememe

    My friends wheelchair costs $2600 through Medicaid but It can be bought directly through the manufacturer for $1200. Walmart sales birth control pills for $9 a month. In Obamaland that $9 a month probably translates into $18,000 really quick.

    • redheadgrl

      Yeah, all the bloated admin in Medicaid drives the cost up 200% +. This is why I don’t see there is any service that the gov’t can provide better than the private sector.

      • Shannon Piper

        Exactly! Given the stats on Medicaid and Medicare, why would anyone think bringing all health care under federal control would lower costs? Stupidity.

  • Wade Hudgins

    note to the girl that wrote the note to her mom: how about your mom keeps the $18K for her retirement and you keep your legs together? We all win. No abortions and your soul might even go to heaven. Who knows? Stranger things have happened. . . .

  • stuckinIL4now

    What’s so magical about the amount of $18,000? Just what specialties exactly does $18K buy you these days?

    Way to go Twitchy–love that term “Flukenomics”–hahahahahahahaha …

  • sparxie

    Wow. I pay $27 for 3 months worth at Target Pharmacy. Not using any insurance. I am so sick of this whole ‘who is going to help me pay for birth control’ argument. It isn’t expensive. Less than $10 a month!

    • John Rambo

      exactly. I pay more for multivitamins than i do for our b/c. i dont get it…… all.

  • Maria Mazo

    so that is how much chastity belts cost these days?

  • Ray Trainer

    Don’t forget in the liberal mind “abortion” is birth control and that I suppose is why she needs so much money. I’m just sayin’

    • Donna Acosta

      Planned Parenthood will hook you up with an abortion for a few hundred bucks. Is she buying 6 and getting one free?

  • Amanda Johnson

    Doesnt Obama just want you to have unprotected sex and pay for your abortion later anyways?

  • dawn

    She needed to reply, “Sorry, honey, I am, as well as yourself, AND your unborn children, are already in debt 65K dollars, thanks to obama and his ‘boost to the economy’. How about you stick to some different methods of obtaining birth control…like getting a job and paying for it yourself?!

    • AMERICAN Kafir™(KAdams)

      Or holding an aspirin between your knees? Aspirin’s still a “dime-a-dozen”.

  • AMERICAN Kafir™(KAdams)

    It’s not really a plea for birth control…. it’s just a scam, so when they get that ‘help’, they’ll just go buy a car instead.

  • marcellucci

    I could go to the local Halloween store and get a Sandra Fluke mask for you dear….
    That’ll keep the men off you….

  • Josephine (D)

    This is so stupid. My Mom works at Wal-Mart, and the condoms there are very cheap, usually around $5 or so, depending on which “style” you want.

    You know what’s free and has no side effects like the Pill does, boys and girls? Abstinence!

    You know what’s just about free, and also has no side effects? Natural Family Planning!

  • a fellow patriot

    $18,000 for birth control? Where were these women when I was in high school? 😉

  • Mizflame98

    In order to spend 18 grand on birth control, you’d have to have at least 30 -40 abortions in a lifetime. Women don’t even have that many pregnancies in a lifetime.

  • Joseph Phillips

    $18,000? I’m all for thinning the herd, but this is just stupid, stupid, stupid. And who asks their mommy, in a note, for cash to rubber up? Are there people out there that think is funny, intelligent, or a real burn on Romney?

    • Donna Acosta

      To answer your second question, in a word: Yes.

  • CalCon10

    Wow…18 grand a year for birth control. That’s 1500 a month. That’s more than most people’s mortgages.

  • weRbroke

    Dear Daughter, I would be happy to help you with your birth control bill, just let me know when you are scheduled for a tubal ligation. Lov, Mom

  • Krystle

    If you are measuring every month from first period to death, you MIGHT get to $18k. However, women generally become infertile by say, 55, right? Assuming they start their periods at 12, let’s figure it out: at $9 a month you are talking $4644 for 43 years of BC. Let’s say it’s $15 a month: $7740. Now $20: $10320. Now $35 which is the most expensive BC I can find: $18060.
    So, in order to hit the $18000 mark, you’d have to take the most expensive BC on the market every single month for 43 years. Yeah, that’s likely. Also, once you become a big girl and make your own money, shouldn’t you be buying your own birth control? So, really take the ages 12-22 and the lowest price BC. If she expects her mother to pay for that, you are talking about a loan of: $1080. Although, can we just talk about how unlikely it would be to put a 12 year old on birth control to begin with?

    • Seola

      Which also means you never have children because trying to get pregnant plus pregnancy and the 6 week wait runs a year, so for each child, deduct at LEAST $420 from those figures.

  • Joshua Johnson

    This is where a quote from “Independance Day” comes to mind… “What, you dont think they actually pay $15,000 for a hammer or $18,000 for birth control, do you?” Cue the conspiracy theories…

  • Right Wired

    “Hey Obama, how’s it going? So, I was hoping to get that new Roth IRA this weekend and was hoping you’d repay me that $18,000 I was forced to give to that ungrateful wh@%& so she could buy her kill pills. I’ll like totally pay you back. Not.”

  • B-rad

    $18,000?!? That’s a lot of Fluke-ing!

  • Randi R Jensen-Gray

    I have an idea, instead of $18000 for birth control, get on your computer (which Im sure you had money to pay for) and look up STD’s and all the wonderful critters you can get from the recreational activities that your paid for birth control does not protect you from!! Oh wait, I am sure we will be asked to be pay for that treatment too!!! Never mind, asking them to do some research is like telling a rock to jump.

  • MT

    That would pay for 150 years of birth control at $10/month! What business did her parents have sending her to college if she can’t even do basic math?! $10 x 12 months = $120/year. $18000 divided by $120/year = 150 years!

  • rivers

    If it costs 18K, then you can’t afford to have sex, you d-bag. These people have $**t for brains.

  • SideshowJon36

    Dear Daughter, stop being such a Whore.


  • Sarg Engelbeck

    just swallow instead

    • redheadgrl


  • Seola

    Here’s the stupid part – this faux “War on Women” and yet, they apparently think that a woman will never have the chance in her entire lifetime to afford $9 a month thus meaning she’ll never have a job with insurance of her own, never have a college degree in which she works up the career ladder to spare $9. Who’s the real group portraying women negatively? And I still maintain, I’m more than my vajayjay Dems.

    • John Rambo

      the whole “I vote with my vagina” signs are ridicules. Im not even a woman and find that offensive

      • Shannon Piper

        I hope they do that in those booths with the curtains. Sounds nasty.

  • Maria

    Okay so let’s say each box of 36 count condoms costs roughly about $20 each (I know some brands and types are considerably less). Divide $18,000 with $20 and you get 900. That is 900 boxes of condoms. Multiply that by 36 for a 36 ct. box of condoms and you get 32,400 condoms. Do people REALLY need that many condoms in a lifetime?? No.

    With birthcontrol pills that usually cost about $15 per box, divide $18,000 by that and you get 1,200 boxes of birthcontrol pills. That is 1,200 months worth of pills. That would be enough to sustain you for 100 years. One of the most expensive birthcontrol pills cost about $50 a month and with $18,000 could sustain a woman for 30 years, which would practically be from late teens to menopause.

    • AMERICAN Kafir™(KAdams)

      I think that’s the fee for the balloon drop at the DNC. Er.. condom drop?

      • Maria

        Ooooo maybe!

  • Gord Higham

    Keep Obama in President, you know, he give us anti-baby pill, he gonna do more. You sign up, you on food stamps, you social security, you got low income. you disability…….Obama give you french tickler condom

    Romney, he sucks, bad!!!!!

  • tjp77

    Where the hell did that number even come from? Is it like fifteen years worth?

    At what point do people start to be responsible for themselves?

    • John Rambo

      for what me and my gf pay its 111 years worth. lol @ liberals

  • Delroy_Monjo

    I kid you not! Things found while looking up other things.
    Here are ten alleged health benefits of seminal plasma:
    1. Natural anti-depressant.
    2. Natural anxiety reducer.
    3. Improves quality of sleep.
    4. Increases energy.
    5. Improves concentration.
    6. Improves memory.
    7. Improves mental alertness.
    8. Assists with pregnancy maintenance.
    9. Increases female-initiated sexual behavior.
    10. Reduces pain.
    Maybe mom should tell her daughter to discuss this with the professor.

  • Dave Borland

    Dear Daughter, NO, keep your pants on and you will not have a problem. !8K? You really want it for a boob job.

  • Mary

    Dang girls don’t you know you can get free birth control from PP? Wake up! Why is that NEVER mentioned???

  • redheadgrl

    I’ve never paid more than $20 per month. that’s a whopping $240 per year. Which equates to about 48 beers (good American craft beer), 24 movies at the theater, or about 20 meals at a chain restaurant.

  • Walker Bennett

    Just enroll in a NYC high school. They’re gonna pass out abortion (morning after) pills for free and without parental consent, so you won’t even have to bother your mom with it. Just slut it up all you want and then kill the baby later. Problem solved.

  • Noonespecial

    She must be doing it while skydiving….that’s kind of expensive….

  • John Rambo

    Dear China, Barrack Obama said he wants to enact the Afordable Care Act so he can pay for everyones birth control. So here’s a quick question: Can we borrow several hundred billion dollars to pay for it. You know, since the idea of responsibility and benig independent is dead in America. Just put it on our tab, I promise our kids will pay you back for it. Sincerley, the same people you watched squander 700 billion on a faild stimulus package rather than pay off our debt to you

  • Steve J. Brown

    Here’s a suggestion, and it costs nothing! KEEP YOUR LEGS CLOSED, [email protected]!

  • Steve J. Brown

    If Obama gets re-elected $18000 for birth control will be the least of her problems. She’ll be back living with mom, unemployed, broke, and hungry.

  • SansMercy

    Maybe the 18k is to add a penis?

  • SansMercy

    And why the hell am I paying for a LIFETIME of birth control? 50 years of welfare checks and you can’t throw down a buck for your vajayjay??

  • jack43

    Anyone paying $18K for birth control should be able to deduct it as a business expense and still show a profit. (Think about it)

  • John Molina

    Dear Ms. Fluke,
    As an American taxpayer, I feel that I should have some say in the amount of financial assistance allotted for contraceptives. Here’s my contribution: one nickel. Just keep it between your knees without dropping it and you’re good to go!

  • Shannon Piper

    Yea, this just makes liberal women sound sad and pathetic. “Mommy, I
    know I’m 31 now (like Sandra Fluke), but being a grown-up is hard! Can
    you send me some money for my pills? And my car payment? And how bout my
    rent? Cause I’m a girl, and I can’t take care of myself.”

  • katndhat

    Cheaper than raising a kid… and hey, how come we all know it’s a female who wrote this? Oh, yeah, men don’t have to worry about birth control, do they? (maybe a couple bucks for condoms)