So, what’s it like to be a white parent of a black child?
Yahoo! Parenting thinks it knows and chose this article by Calvin Hennick titled “7 Things I Can Do That My Black Son Can’t” as one of its top articles of the year. An excerpt:
In my experience, white people (and straight people, and male people, and Christian people — all groups of which I’m a member) tend to dismiss the notion that we’re privileged. It’s an uncomfortable thing to acknowledge that you’re the recipient of unfair benefits, especially when those benefits are often nearly invisible to those who receive them.
But when you’re a parent, those privileges stop being invisible. It’s the reason why male congressmen with daughters are more likely to support women’s issues. It’s the reason why Ohio Sen. Rob Portman suddenly declared his support for same-sex marriage after his son came out as gay. And it’s the reason why, everywhere I look, I see hassles that my son will have to face that I don’t.
However, actor and Twitchy favorite Nick Searcy, who like the author above is a white father with a black son, isn’t on board with Hennick’s underlying premise:
.@yesnicksearcy This white writer says he can do things his black son can't. What say you? https://t.co/t3HnOtJmAF @93wibc
— Tony Katz (@tonykatz) December 29, 2014
https://twitter.com/yesnicksearcy/status/549606118570196992
https://twitter.com/yesnicksearcy/status/549614839102853120
Nick then answered with a longer, poignant post via Facebook where he gives some pretty good — and color-blind — parenting advice:
https://twitter.com/yesnicksearcy/status/549854364626472960
And here it is in its entirety:
My friend Tony Katz sent me this article today, and I found it tremendously disturbing. For one thing, this is not really about this man’s son. It is about this man’s politics. It is a defense of every leftist lie from #WhitePrivilege to #HandsUpDontShoot to #IcantBreathe, all of which are simply poison.
I do not teach my son that he is a perpetual victim, and that he is hated. He is not. He is loved and admired by all who come in contact with him, because he is a wonderful person.
I teach him that there is evil in the world, and it comes in all colors, creeds, religions and genders, but that it is never an excuse for him not to do the right thing. I teach him to take responsibility for what he does, and to make sure his side of the street is clean.
I teach him that police officers have a difficult and dangerous job, and they face potential death every time they enter even the most routine traffic stop or random encounter. I tell him 1) do not break the law, and 2) if you accidentally do, by speeding or even a careless mistake, if an officer approaches you, you treat them with the utmost respect, and do not give them ANY reason, even if you feel you have been stopped unfairly, to think that you are a threat to them, or that you are not willing to cooperate them in every way. That is what they deserve, and that behavior will protect you as well.
We have talked extensively of the Civil Rights movement in the 60s, and of slavery. There is no question in his or my mind that it was a horrible chapter in our country’s history, and and a terrible wrong that had to be righted — and it was, through a bloody Civil War, and a terrifying period of civil unrest, which required incredible bravery and resolve. But I also make sure that he knows that America did not invent slavery and racism. Both have been around for thousands of years, and have been practiced by individuals of all races. The history of humanity is filled with evil, oppression, tyranny, and racism. It is a crime that is not inherent in one race or another, or one country or another. I teach him not to blame America, the bravest, freest country for individuals in all of history, for sins and wrongs that were pervasive throughout the world at its founding.
And I try to teach him that he can become whatever he wants to be, and the world is not conspiring to destroy him because of his skin color. I tell him that the most serious problems he will face will be those within himself, and frankly, that personal failings and limitations, not the evil of others, prevent most people from achieving their dreams. I teach him to not blame others for a bad grade or a failed enterprise, and that while unfairness often exists and must be addressed, most of the time the problem is within his control.
I hesitate to criticize another parent. There are problems that arise when you are a transracial parent, and all parents deal with them in their own ways. And God knows, I am not perfect.
But what kind of man teaches his son that the world is out to get him, the police want to kill him simply because he is black or white or whatever, and he will always be despised because of something he has no control over whatsoever? That the deck is unfairly stacked against him, and he should always be suspicious of white people because they are racist even when they don’t act like they are, because #WhitePrivilege means they can’t even know that they are racist because they’re too dumb to see it?
I pray for this man’s family, and I wish them well, but I think he is doing his son a grave disservice. His son lives in a country where he can become whatever he wants be, within the limitations of his abilities and his willingness to work to achieve his dreams.
That’s what I tried to teach my “white” daughter, and that’s what I try to teach my “black” son.
Well said.
***
Related:
‘Eat your heart out, losers’: Go backstage with Nick Searcy on the set of ‘Red Eye’
Stacey Dash, Nick Searcy, and Adam Baldwin heading to NOLA to help Bill Cassidy?
‘THE SEARCY FACTOR!’: Did Nick Searcy’s robocalls put the GOP over the top?
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