Feminist author Jessica Valenti was pretty impressed with a piece in Glamour about a woman who has sworn off cooking for men now that her divorce has come through.
"I stopped cooking because I wanted to feel as unencumbered as a man walking through the door of his home with the expectation that something had been done for him."
This, from @lyzl, is so so good. https://t.co/4BxADm622f
— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) November 27, 2018
It’s hard for me to understand when cooking became more repression than liberation, more act of obligation than act of creation. But I knew it then. This thing that had sustained me now felt like a prison. And whose fault was it? It certainly wasn’t all my husband’s. After all, hadn’t I wanted to cook? Hadn’t I enjoyed it? Hadn’t I found purpose in the texture of the cinnamon rolls, the ache of my arm as I whisked a French silk pie over a double boiler? But who had that ever been for? I couldn’t remember.
Actually, her husband comes across as a selfish jerk in the piece, so we’re guessing it was his fault. But there’s no chance Glamour’s readers will see him as a stand-in for all clueless men when it comes to their wives’ feelings, right?
All this piece told me was she attracts men that seem to be just as selfish as she is. https://t.co/dJwasmFJ7A
— Krystle Schoonveld (@TarheelKrystle) November 27, 2018
Most men I know cook/grill. Then again, I don't hang with betas so…
— Krystle Schoonveld (@TarheelKrystle) November 27, 2018
On one hand, I feel bad for women like this who were wronged by beta men. On the other hand, not only did she stand for that shit, now she's generalizing all men (and the vast majority of them aren't assholes).
— Krystle Schoonveld (@TarheelKrystle) November 27, 2018
Men Generalizing/Stereotyping of women = Sexist
Women Generalizing/Stereotyping men ALSO = Sexist.
So ends the lesson.
— Politically Agnostic (@joeleyare) November 27, 2018
Normal men like myself make the dinner.
— JWF (@JammieWF) November 27, 2018
Yup. Same here. I'm the cook in my house.
— NavyMojo (@NavyMojo) November 27, 2018
I've cooked for my wife nearly every night of our 10+ yr marriage.
Not a single time did I feel degraded or abused for doing so. Then again, I'm not a whiny pain in the ass seeking perpetual victim status.
I'm just a guy who like to cook and a grown-up.https://t.co/LMjb1H8B2T
— BonkPolitics (@BonkPolitics) November 27, 2018
Who are these dudes expecting June Cleaver wives? I do most of the cooking and dinner is usually on the table for my wife when she gets home. Then I do the dishes and clean the kitchen.
— Pernellius (@Pernellius) November 27, 2018
I do this out of love and because this is how our marriage works. We agreed on these things. She has other responsibilities.
— Pernellius (@Pernellius) November 27, 2018
How sad for all of you. It was my great joy to welcome my husband hone with a finely prepared meal, our children and lovingly decorated home.
Then our circumstances changed, he now welcomes me home with spectacularly prepared meals and lovingly folded laundry.
He is my joy.— APO_AE_09173 (@APO_AE_01973) November 27, 2018
This 1000 times over. The issue in this article is not the cooking. It is a husband with no respect or appreciation for his wife. My wife cooks dinner 90% of the time- she enjoys cooking, is better at it and is home to do it. I appreciate every bite of every meal,
— The Philly-osopher (@Philly_osopher) November 27, 2018
And marriage is (should be) a trade off. I do most of the cooking because I'm home first. He does lots of wonderful things for me, like bring me coffee in bed every morning. If you are keeping score you are doing it wrong. Enjoy doing for someone you love.
— IndifferentPenguin (@AliLaurelG) November 27, 2018
My man cooks all our food. Find that, it’s amazing.
— Alex Leo (@AlexMLeo) November 27, 2018
If you think your ex husband was “unencumbered” when he walked in the door you are clueless. If you dont want to cook and were having such a hard time then maybe talk about it. Resentment is bad.
— jeff meyer (@jeffpmeyer) November 27, 2018
Does anyone just have an honest conversation with their spouse/partner about splitting up household work?
— Jwood (@Jwood62776145) November 27, 2018
Why didn't this woman long ago just say to her husband, I'm not cooking, you want food, go fix it yourself. That would have saved us this boastful and self-pitying screed. Moral of the story: Just Say No.
— Jean King (@jdorrancfarnham) November 27, 2018
I cook for my wife and myself every night. She always knows what's for dinner because we discuss it. In fact, we talk to each other all morning and five or six times a day when she's away. Sorry about your marriage.
— J. Carroll Clark (@sazeracked) November 27, 2018
My crystal ball shows lots of boxed wine and feline companionship in her future.
— Chuck Vipperman (@ChuckVipperman) November 27, 2018
Wow, men just suck, don’t they?
FYI, the men commenting so far are a group of organized Conservative trolls, if a quick scroll through their profiles is any indication. Best to mute/block. Their intended purpose is to harass. What a shock.
— Farging Icehole (@pennypjones) November 27, 2018
Organized conservative trolls — who do the cooking for their wives and stress the importance of verbal communication. How dare they.
* * *
Update: Men stupid, miss point. Big dumb men think smart, but dumb. No cook for wives.
You know @lyzl's piece on cooking was superb because I have SO MANY ANGRY MEN in my mentions today definitely not missing the point.
— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) November 28, 2018
I’m sorry, what was the point? https://t.co/fb4S8ZmzNX
— John Ekdahl (@JohnEkdahl) November 28, 2018
It wasn’t even about cooking, to be honest.
Related:
'GLORIOUS': Glamour reviews man-free edit of 'Saving Private Ryan' https://t.co/yQ8OENCQDv
— Twitchy Team (@TwitchyTeam) January 23, 2018
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