Disgraced cycling champion Lance Armstrong has apparently decided to come clean about his use of performance-enhancing substances. So, who gets the exclusive? ESPN? Bob Costas? Jim Nantz? Surely a titan of sports journalism would be required for such a massive story, right?

Nope, he’s going on “Oprah’s Next Chapter” to cry and beg for forgiveness. Excuse us while we play the world’s smallest violin.

https://twitter.com/NFLGoodwitch/status/288806816190713856

The “no-holds barred” interview is scheduled to air Jan. 17.

Editor’s note: This post has been amended to indicate that Armstrong’s chat with Oprah Winfrey will be on her prime time program, “Oprah’s Next Chapter.”

  • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

    I really don’t keep up. I thought Orcrah went off the air.

    • mickeyco

      You wish.

  • waltermitty2012

    Isn’t this a job for a tougher interviewer like Piers Morgan or Jerry Springer?

  • traffic_robot

    Terrible. Just terrible.

  • stuckinIL4now

    Last week’s news interviewing last year’s news. Another production custom-made for the low-info TV viewer.

  • Jack Deth

    Is anyone else getting a distinct “1984” vibe out this recurring media circus where one screws up, bares his soul to Oprah and is magically absolved of all sins?

    Or is it just me?

  • $23639361

    I know it’s a baba wawa thing, but I hope she’ll at least ask lance “what kind of tree would you be?” ….because, as baba has demonstrated in the past, that’s an important thing to know

  • $23639361

    I know it’s a baba wawa thing, but I hope she’ll at least ask lance “what kind of tree would you be?” ….because, as baba has demonstrated in the past, that’s an important thing to know

  • tredglx

    The better question: why are Orpah the killer whale or Lance ‘Stretch’ (the truth) Armstrong even relevant these days?

  • kayakingfatso

    Lance looks cross-eyed in that pic. Nothing wrong with cross-eyed-edness. I gotta admit, I care more about the cross-eyed-edness than I do if he duped the Tour de France by injecting his body full of toxins.

  • $30423294

    I realize that this is an un-modern thing to say, but this is literally sacrilegious.

    We have elevated this woman, Miss Winfrey, to a position that I believe she herself even finds uncomfortable.

    There are legitimate religious figures in America who can facilitate meaningful atonement. Those uncomfortable with Catholicism or even Christianity would find the Jewish feast of Yom Kippur a beautiful and genuine ritual of forgiveness.

    So come on, let’s not legitimize absolution on television. This cheapens the very idea of atonement. One cannot simultaneously ask contrition and engage in self-promotion. One sin replaces the other.

  • moonsbreath

    Another new age confession at the “Church of Oprah.” Sounds like someone needs ratings.