This past Presidents Day, Nation justice correspondent Elie Mystal celebrated in the only way he knows how:
Happy Presidents day to the three or four dead Presidents who aren't burning in Hell.
— Elie Mystal (@ElieNYC) February 21, 2022
He’s so stunning! So brave! So subversive!
And so incredibly committed to the bit.
Here he is this morning talking about what a utopia America would be if we could just get rid of that damn Constitution and replace it with something written by all Americans so we’d finally achieve true inclusivity:
Elie Mystal (@ElieNYC): It’d be great to “throw out the Constitution altogether” and create something “more inclusive” pic.twitter.com/9RiI2Bw9s5
— Tom Elliott (@tomselliott) March 3, 2022
Mystal didn’t explicitly say it, but we have to assume that white men and white women’s perspectives would not factor into his new Constitution.
Actually, we probably don’t have to assume it. It seems pretty obvious:
Oooh, I have trigger white wing media this morning by noting that their slaver's organizing document is trash. 🙂 https://t.co/T2hrZQQcnu
— Elie Mystal (@ElieNYC) March 3, 2022
The white-wing media has been triggered! The white-wing media has been triggered!
Literally could write a better one in two weeks. One if I had a good scotch. https://t.co/Sgb44RDgCs
— Elie Mystal (@ElieNYC) March 3, 2022
And if Elie were totally plastered and on an acid trip, he could write one in, like, two seconds!
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Oh so women & minorities weren’t involved when writing the amendments to the Constitution
You know the parts where updates are made to it
Well that’s new https://t.co/JFBUMoJtMu
— Army Patriot🇺🇸🇺🇸 (@COPatriotUSA) March 3, 2022
Elie doesn’t think there should have to be amendments. His constitution would be perfect as-is. Just like him.
It's people like this, that the Constitution was designed to protect us from. https://t.co/FUhwLZIITc
— A Fateful Haven (@FatefulHaven) March 3, 2022
https://twitter.com/MinervalOwls/status/1499397843525591040
Since a lot of people like this Constitution, I respectfully submit that Elie start his own country where he can be the dictator & make a set of laws to his tastes.
But then he wouldn’t be able to run around screaming about his awful country on MSNBC. 🤷♂️ https://t.co/hNgvDjUlvS
— Tom Kattman (@TomKattman) March 3, 2022
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