Hunter Biden Launches $LAPTOP Memecoin, Which Crashes 99 Percent Two Hours After Launch

Hunter Biden, who would be in prison if his father hadn't granted him the blanket pardon that he swore he wasn't going to give, has something to say. He's "clear, strong, seven years sober, and with a lot to say." So much to say that we're not going to post the full text of his X posts on Wednesday. In short, Biden wanted to announce that he'd entered the cryptocurrency game with a memecoin he called $LAPTOP. "The symbol they used to try to end me is now a symbol of resilience, redemption, and recovery," he declared.

For years, Trump and right-wing media have been asking, “Where’s Hunter? Where’s Hunter?” Well, here I am. Clear, strong, seven years sober, and with a lot to say.

By now, you may have seen the article in the Wall Street Journal that I’m launching a meme coin called $LAPTOP.…
— Hunter Biden (@HunterBiden) September 8, 2026

First of all, no one has been asking, "Where's Hunter?" You never went away. You're on X; you do podcasts with people who are desperate for guests; we can't get rid of you. Second, get this sales pitch from the conclusion of his post:

I've spent way too long being a story other people told. They lit a fire and threw everything into it. Here's what they don't understand: the only thing they burned was my shame. They think they killed me, but instead, all they did was make me fearless.
They turned laptop into a weapon. I turned it into a token.
$LAPTOP. Because the Truth Matters.

The truth is that the laptop was real, the videos and emails were real, and it was not Russian disinformation. Anyway, then this happened:

BREAKING: Hunter Biden’s $‌LAPTOP meme coin crashes more than 90% within hours of launch, falling from a peak above $200 billion in fully diluted valuation.
— Polymarket (@Polymarket) September 9, 2026

Yikes. https://t.co/AcnmZm9oqt
— Russell Brand (@rustyrockets) September 9, 2026

JUST IN: Hunter Biden's crypto memecoin $LAPTOP crashes 99% two hours after launch. pic.twitter.com/SsZw73IFow
— Watcher.Guru (@WatcherGuru) September 9, 2026

As you may have seen, the LAPTOP memecoin saw a sharp swing in token price during its first hours of trading.

The headlines are all the same.

Token down 99%. Rug pull. Biden Crime Family. The list goes on.

This is far from the truth.

The reality is that available liquidity…
— Hunter Biden (@HunterBiden) September 9, 2026

The post continues:

This journey is far from over. We built this community for the long game, and that's exactly how we're playing it. I'm going to keep doing what I do best: ignoring the noise, and reclaiming the narrative.

“The reality is that available liquidity could not sustain the strong level of interest at launch.”

generational copy pasta lads
— ReDKeV (@redkev) September 9, 2026

I sold my kids college funds to buy your coin and now they won’t get to go to college. Thanks a lot, Hunter!
— Burt Macklin (@BurtMaclin_FBI) September 9, 2026