As Twitchy reported, sicko Sacramento Democrat official Allan Brauer viciously wished death on Cruz staffer Amanda Carpenter’s children. Brauer also writes at a blog, ironically titled “It Matters How You Say It.” He’s got plenty of advice to give to prospective scribes, but there’s always room for more. To that end, helpful tweeters are offering up more #AllanBrauerProWritingTips:
For impactful business proposals, tell skeptical prospects you want their children to die, In fires. #AllanBrauerProWritingTips
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) September 20, 2013
A good grant proposal always includes a detailed plan to bury the reviewers' children in shallow graves. #AllanBrauerProWritingTips
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) September 20, 2013
Don't write sensitive business communications, like ransom notes, on your own! Call a pro like @AllanBrauer #AllanBrauerProWritingTips
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) September 20, 2013
For a truly eye catching resume, ensure your objectives include attending the funerals of your manager's family. #AllanBrauerProWritingTips
— Michael Blum (@MichaelBlum3) September 20, 2013
Everyone does "creepy"; for maximum impact, go full-bore psychotic. #AllanBrauerProWritingTips
— Can of Spam (@iDoLikeSpam) September 20, 2013
In each cover letter tell the manager you either get the job or her son will be dissolved in a barrel of acid #AllanBrauerProWritingTips
— Michael James Barton (@MichaelJames357) September 20, 2013
When closing a sales proposal, I like to quote Virgil Sollozzo: "Blood is a big expense." #AllanBrauerProWritingTips
— Jeff Angelo (@JeffAngeloRadio) September 20, 2013
https://twitter.com/Dax1776/status/381103626896158720
https://twitter.com/SonnyBunch/status/381103682525200384
https://twitter.com/BigRMV/status/381107104230019073
https://twitter.com/Matthops82/status/381104125384982528
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https://twitter.com/chuck_dizzle/status/381105217640464384
For convenience sake, internal memos should include numbers for the coroner's office and a reputable funeral home #AllanBrauerProWritingTips
— Can of Spam (@iDoLikeSpam) September 20, 2013
https://twitter.com/amish1979/status/381104766022975489
Add "Quadrupled sales in the first year with my patented threaten-the-lives-of-kids method" to your cover letter. #AllanBrauerProWritingTips
— Michael James Barton (@MichaelJames357) September 20, 2013
https://twitter.com/TuckerJerbs/status/381110363766657024
Never apologize. Double-down on any homicidal aberrant behavior to prove your commitment to your cause. #AllanBrauerProWritingTips
— Can of Spam (@iDoLikeSpam) September 20, 2013
@iowahawkblog One must sacrifice for the sake of art. Even better if you can sacrifice someone else's children. #AllanBrauerProWritingTips
— Michael Blum (@MichaelBlum3) September 20, 2013
We can only hope that Brauer decides to write a book.
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