When he’s not busy having family members and independent thinkers killed, North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un enjoys long walks on the beach.
So it stands to reason that after enough long walks, the famously plump oppressor would start to slim down a bit.
And it stands to reason that American media would greet the weight loss with great interest and admiration. Take it away, CBS News:
Thinner, more energetic Kim Jong Un steals the spotlight at North Korea parade https://t.co/BXeiWQWvfS
— CBS News (@CBSNews) September 10, 2021
The AP has a similar headline about the newly svelte homicidal communist dictator:
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Apparently these people missed the memo that Kim Jong Un is evil personified no matter what size he is.
https://twitter.com/CarsonWWatkins1/status/1436316163722653707
did kim jong un write this headline?
— Cat Graffam (@catgraffam) September 10, 2021
What in God’s name is this, and also—steals the spotlight from whom?? The whole point of these things is to give him the spotlight.
— Claire Kenny (@ClaireicalError) September 10, 2021
"spotlight" is newspeak for food, water, dignity & hope. https://t.co/bubtlykt8n
— WSofD (@DannyJLund) September 10, 2021
Also “CBS News’ heart.”
5 Dictators So Hot, You'll Call the Secret Police on YOURSELF https://t.co/vRSjgI7QPZ
— Bleicher & Newton (@bleicher_newton) September 10, 2021
Nice CBS. Gonna ask him his diet tricks next?
— Alicia Votes Blue! (@amday1978) September 10, 2021
I think they’re gearing up for his lifestyle brand & cooking shows coming this fall
— nope, still me (@nowcowan) September 10, 2021
That’s probably it.
In other news, CBS has hired a new anchor pic.twitter.com/S8aE02Zt7D
— Leonardo Puglisi (@Leo_Puglisi6) September 10, 2021
Hey, CBS News:
https://t.co/tu3zDNy3zW pic.twitter.com/hNh9z5dskG
— Stephen L. Miller (@redsteeze) September 10, 2021
You do not, in fact, gotta hand it to Kim Jong Un. https://t.co/eVao7qRxq1
— Dan McLaughlin (@baseballcrank) September 10, 2021
No you do not.