Now that Michael Cohen’s been sentenced to three years in prison for various crimes and is speaking out against Donald Trump, many of our best and bravest firefighters have discovered a strange new respect for him.

But some are way past respect … they’ve moved on to straight-up awe. Check out this passage:

Fart noises might be a little too kind for what we just read.

Were the specific members of the New York Times editorial board who contributed to that hot mess too ashamed to use their names? Because we wouldn’t blame them. That crap is straight-up embarrassing.