Vox, allegedly, exists not only to report the news, but explain it; the very first link at the top of the Vox homepage is labeled, “Explainers.” And while we and others on social media have had a lot of fun poking holes in the site’s “Voxsplanations,” it looks like Splinter wants very much to take over the explainer business.

Looking at the photos on its “About” page, Splinter would appear to have a fair share of white people on its staff, but now we’re not sure, seeing as whiteness is just a concept. Not that that theory needed further explanation after the release of Rachel Dolezal’s book, but that was a memoir; Splinter’s Splinterslanation goes deep into American history to prove … something.

You should — in less than four minutes you’d learn what it would take a typical American university two semesters to cover.

Our favorite bit of the video is when Rep. Steve King touts the contributions of Western Civilization — which MSNBC’s Christopher Hayes handily rephrases as “white people” — and the United States of America. The clip then cuts to a montage including luminaries such as Barack Obama, Oprah Winfrey, and wise Latina woman Sonya Sotomayor — all born in the USA and thriving within the vestiges/confines of Western Civilization.

Do make it plain, because right now all we’re getting out of it is the nuts.

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