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BREAKING: Elon Musk’s SpaceX rocket explodes (video)

This is a breaking story, so the 24-hour rule applies: All reports within the first 24 hours are suspect. But we will strive to give you the most accurate information.

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So today was a flight test for a “fully integrated Starship and Super Heavy rocket.”

We won’t pretend we know the significance of that. But we happen to be friends with John Hoge (@wjjhoge on Twitter) who is a contractor for NASA, who jokes, ‘I’m not a rocket scientist. I do applied quantum physics,’ and he agreed to speak with us in his personal capacity, as an expert. He explained that the significance of it being a fully integrated Starship and Super Heavy rocket was that previously they had tested each of those components separately, but this was the first time they were testing them as a single unit.

So, there was no one in the rocket, and they were just testing things out, and at first the launch went well:

But then test rocket experienced … well, we will let them explain:

Okay, we need someone to translate that from corporate speak to English:

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Yeah, pretty much.

Hoge emailed us his explanation of what he saw: ‘I watched SpaceX’s live feed on the Internet. It appeared there was a problem with the main engine cutoff sequence and the separation of the second stage followed by an explosion.’

The official SpaceX Twitter account had this to say about the ‘rapid unscheduled disassembly’:

That’s probably the best spin they can put on it, and it’s a valid point. While we are sure they would have preferred that the rocket operate perfectly, failure is part of the process, too. For instance, when they attempted to launch Apollo 1, the cabin caught fire and three American heroes (Gus Grissom, Ed White, and Roger B. Chaffee) died. Less than two years and a half years later, Apollo 11 landed on the moon. We are grateful, however, that today’s failure resulted in no casualties.

Some were supportive:

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More on the … uh… ‘unscheduled disassembly’:

 

(That phrase is never not going to be funny to us.)

We cannot verify this, so take it with a grain of salt. Meanwhile, this guy really sees a silver lining, here:

And some were happy because apparently, they hate Elon Musk for making Twitter fairer or something:

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And, well … this is random:

It was aliens, wasn’t it?

(Yes, we are joking.)

But we did find credible information as to what actually caused the explosion:

That man is the kiss of death!

(Okay, okay, we checked and it doesn’t appear to be a real tweet from Cramer. But it is funny.)

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