We apologize for missing this quality thread from David Hogg the other day, but hopefully you won’t be too upset with us because we’re bringing it to you now and making you aware that something like this actually exists.
Take it away, David!
Kids are the new boats
Pets are the new kids
Plants are the new pets
Let me explain…— David Hogg ☮️ (@davidhogg111) September 19, 2022
Let him explain.
Like yes kids are nice but most people can’t afford them so it’s nice to have friends with one but not have one yourself. Pets are the affordable version of kids today for Millennials and Gen Z and plants are now the more affordable plants.
— David Hogg ☮️ (@davidhogg111) September 19, 2022
You with him so far?
Plants are now the more affordable pets
— David Hogg ☮️ (@davidhogg111) September 19, 2022
Like the number of people I know who literally throw big actual birthday parties for their dogs that they have friends invited and everything is awesome but also very telling of our changing view of having children and our economic condition.
— David Hogg ☮️ (@davidhogg111) September 19, 2022
Here’s where it really gets good:
Like me? I’m never planning on having kids. I would much rather own a Porsche and have a Portuguese water dog and golden doodle. Long term it’s cheaper, better for The environment and will never tell you that it hates you or ask you to pay for college.
— David Hogg ☮️ (@davidhogg111) September 19, 2022
But that’s just me 🤷♂️
— David Hogg ☮️ (@davidhogg111) September 19, 2022
I would love to help watch my friends kids in the future though and be the fun uncle/friend that helps teach them to skateboard and surf and stuff.
— David Hogg ☮️ (@davidhogg111) September 19, 2022
David thinks he’d be an awesome babysitter. Wanna hire him?
I know far too many parents who have had their kids killed by gun violence. No one should ever feel that kind of pain. Ever
— David Hogg ☮️ (@davidhogg111) September 19, 2022
Well now I really want a Portuguese water dog. God damn it. Thanks twitter.
— David Hogg ☮️ (@davidhogg111) September 19, 2022
If we were that Portuguese water dog, we’d start swimming back to Portugal right now. David should definitely stick to plants. Artificial ones, just to be safe.
To be clear I am not telling you what you should or should not do. Deciding to have children or not is your choice. I’m just expressing my own view on it.
— David Hogg ☮️ (@davidhogg111) September 19, 2022
We’re actually glad that David Hogg is expressing his view on having kids, because now we at least know that he’s not planning on procreating. That will save our own grandkids from the headache of having to deal with little Davids.
have fun with the Porsche big guy
— Matt’s Idea Shop (@MattsIdeaShop) September 20, 2022
Don’t worry. He will.
The countries that are contributing least to global warming are the ones with highest fertility rates, kids aren't bad for the environment, consuming too much is bad for the environment (like owning a Porsche). https://t.co/Cj3SaaHUqU
— Zaid Jilani (@ZaidJilani) September 20, 2022
Forget it; he’s rolling.
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