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OMG THIS IS REAL?! DC Police Department's perp description gets VERY oddly specific and people have HILARIOUS thoughts

Who knew someone getting stabbed would notice this about the perp? ROFL

We can see it now, ‘Why hello office, yes, yes I was just stabbed. And boy howdy, I have to tell you, the person who stabbed me had the PRETTIEST EYES I have ever seen. Oh yes, I am slowly bleeding out, and ouch it hurts SO MUCH but I’m telling you, THOSE EYES …’

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Can’t believe this is real and yet here we are:

What gave the perp away?

THOSE EYES.

https://twitter.com/jordylancaster/status/1438562591723380738?s=20

*snorts*

ROFL ROFL ROFL!!!

Sleek, gazelle-like with a certain SAVOIR FAIRE.

Armed and extremely delicious.

Wow, that’s awesome.

I CAN FIX HIM.

Armed and dreamy?

K.

Or wearing sunglasses? FOILED AGAIN!

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Smells of lavender and has soft hands.

Ok, we’ve gotta stop.

Too damn funny.

***

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‘So OVER this pandemic. So OVER this administration’: BOMB-DIGGITY of a thread about COVID and our suck govt. the BEST thing you’ll read today

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