Same here, buddy! So, what is CBS’ Mark Knoller up to today?
I'm wearing a hoodie right now, I should go wait for Mark Knoller at the airport.
— Ian Boudreau (@iboudreau) November 27, 2013
Wait, what? Let’s start at the beginning: Mr. Knoller took to Twitter, as he is wont to do, to live-tweet his travels for the holiday weekend. Take it away, Mr. Knoller:
Sure is crowded at LAX this morning. Lotsa families and little kids. Where's everybody going?
— Mark Knoller (@markknoller) November 27, 2013
Gate attendant just announced flight to Orlando is "extremely full." Is that fuller than just "full?"
— Mark Knoller (@markknoller) November 27, 2013
Gate clerk just announced my flight is "extremely sold out," as opposed to just "sold out."
— Mark Knoller (@markknoller) November 27, 2013
Snicker. President Obama didn’t escape Knoller’s giggle-inducing musings either:
Why are all these kids going to Orlando. What can you do in Orlando on a four-day weekend? Probably, fundraising.
— Mark Knoller (@markknoller) November 27, 2013
Zing!
Hope they have that TV service on my flight home. Would hate missing the presidential turkey pardon this afternoon.
— Mark Knoller (@markknoller) November 27, 2013
Todays event will bring Pres Obama's pardon total to: people 39, turkeys 10.
— Mark Knoller (@markknoller) November 27, 2013
I was gonna fly back on AF-1, but they were overbooked and offering $300 health care voucher to those willing to fly back commercial.
— Mark Knoller (@markknoller) November 27, 2013
That. Was. Beautiful.
Next up? Some TSA musings:
Noticed a woman trying to smuggle a cute little doggie onto her flight. I turned her in. But dog had a boarding pass., it was TSA Pre-Check.
— Mark Knoller (@markknoller) November 27, 2013
Turns out the dog was the ticketed passenger. The woman was the one sneaking on. Just as well. Middle seat.
— Mark Knoller (@markknoller) November 27, 2013
And some fashion advice snark:
Young girl wearing a red reindeer sweater today. Seems premature. Like wearing white before Memorial Day. Love giving fashion advice.
— Mark Knoller (@markknoller) November 27, 2013
Heh. Then came some further fashion musings that sparked even more unintentional hilarity:
What's with the Unabomber look? Young men wearing hoodies over their head indoors. Surprised TSA let's 'em.
— Mark Knoller (@markknoller) November 27, 2013
Uh oh. Hoodie man getting on my flight. Probably an Air Marshal.
— Mark Knoller (@markknoller) November 27, 2013
Oh, Knoller! Never change. But, some libs got their hoodies in a twist, natch. Including the vile Allan Brauer, who was booted for his vicious death wish on Amanda Carpenter’s children:
https://twitter.com/allanbrauer/status/405765895651217408
Since when did wearing a hoodie become a crime @markknoller? Should TSA even bother to let me in b/c I'm brown? https://t.co/5c23p4gSYJ
— Yogin (@yoyogin) November 27, 2013
https://twitter.com/Pile_of_Derp/status/405739617313226753
https://twitter.com/lyda/status/405766369473351680
@markknoller Seriously? What is wrong with you? It's a sweatshirt. I'm wearing one now.
— firedupandreadytogo (@Firedup2020) November 27, 2013
https://twitter.com/Odd_Hack/status/405765302748590080
https://twitter.com/Odd_Hack/status/405767152302436352
Bless.
Media got into the mix, too.
uh RT @markknoller: What's with the Unabomber look? Young men wearing hoodies over their head indoors. Surprised TSA let's 'em.
— Jennifer Bendery (@jbendery) November 27, 2013
Uhh RT @markknoller: What's with the Unabomber look? Young men wearing hoodies over their head indoors. Surprised TSA let's 'em.
— Igor Bobic (@igorbobic) November 27, 2013
Double bless.
Please, try to locate your funny bones. In the meantime, here is Knoller’s latest update:
Though gate attendant said flight was "extremely full," flight attendant says it's only "very full." That's a relief.
— Mark Knoller (@markknoller) November 27, 2013
Which one was it, Mr. Knoller? Don’t leave us hanging.
@markknoller You are in such an antic mood, you're making me smile… Have fun, tweet on…
— (((Charles Fishman))) (@cfishman) November 27, 2013
Yes, please!