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The Socialism 2026 Conference in Chicago is underway this weekend and, in the words of Obi-Wan Kenobi, you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. 

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The four-day conference states that it is a home for radicals (on the website, even) and includes speakers like Hasan Piker and Mumia Abu-Jamal. Topics range from defeating "fascists" through revolution and, well, defeating them by abolishing prisons and, um, using tarot cards. 

The conference still requires (yes, requires, not suggests) face masks and a "non-carceral" approach to checking badges. 

We're not even sure what that last one means, but if you want a glimpse into the absolute bat-poop crazy that is Socialism 2026, take a peek at the gift that Piker received during his panel session. 

Yikes. If the conference were in Massachusetts, we'd bet that attendees made up 11 of the jurors in the Lindsay Clancy trial.

Stu Smith of the Manhattan Institute has been documenting all of the insanity at Socialism 2026. Yesterday, he shared remarks from one of the panels entitled "Health Fascism, Body Politics, and the Anti-State State." 

Again, we have no idea what any of that means, but here is land whale and speaker Da'Shaun Harrison proclaiming that trying to help black people lose weight and get healthy is just another form of — yep, you guessed it — fascism. 

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You could almost understand why Harrison would feel this way, looking at him. Declaring fitness to be fascism sounds a lot easier than doing a single sit-up or eating a salad. 

But here is the much thinner Beatrice Adler-Bolton (of the ironically named Death Panel podcast) also declaring that getting into shape is just another form of oppressive discipline from the capitalist pigs. 

"The more dysgenic, the better."

It would almost be encouraging to hear that in terms of the long-term future of Communists. Except we're pretty sure that they don't just want this for themselves; they want to force it on everyone. 

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To be fair, we already knew that she and everyone else at Socialism 2026 were psychopaths based on how much they celebrate actually killing offspring (in the womb or afterwards). 

LOL. 

We're not sure that's possible, but we can tell that Harrison is giving it his best shot. 

The adipocytes seem to have cut off all blood flow to his brain, that's for sure. 

Unsurprisingly, it appears that he didn't even write his remarks. 

Nope. Not even a little bit surprised. 

But Ozempic is slavery!

... or something. 

With any luck, they'll eat so much that they won't even be able to make it to the polls or even to the mailbox. 

We can only hope their ballot harvesters become morbidly out of shape as well. 

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And definitely not 54 inches, which appears to be the measurement of Harrison's waistline. 

No wonder they're all wearing masks. 

Friedrich Nietzsche would be so proud! 

What a horror show. 

We apologize to our readers for not prefacing that image with a "trigger warning." 

The more things change ... 

He sounds so well-adjusted, doesn't he? 

Ironically, if Harrison and Adler-Bolton get the Communism they want, there won't BE any food, healthy or otherwise. 

If only they would reserve that lifestyle for themselves and not try to gain power so they can impose it on all of us. 

But that's not how Communism works, of course. 

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We can't wait for more highlights today from Socialism 2026. One of the panels is entitled "Psychic Militancy." 

And, no, we are not joking. 

That's all the world needs. A fat, ugly, militant Jean Grey. 

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