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‘We’re Being Poisoned’: Jimmy Kimmel Says Late-Night TV Isn’t Dying of Natural Causes

AP Photo/Chris Pizzello

Stephen Colbert had it, and Jimmy Kimmel has it even worse. I'm not talking about Trump Derangement Syndrome, exactly, but paranoia. As I reported, on his penultimate show before CBS (not President Trump) pulled Colbert's show, Bruce Springsteen showed up to perform his "Streets of Minneapolis" song and claim that Colbert was "the first guy in America who lost his show because we got a president who can't take a joke." Yeah, that's it, Boss. That's why Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers, and John Oliver all need to be watching their backs.

Kimmel takes himself way too seriously, and Variety reports that Kimmel's diagnosis is that late-night TV is dying, but not of natural causes. Rather, it's being poisoned. Please, tell us more.

Jimmy Kimmel has some thoughts on the purported death of late-night television.

The “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” host opened up in a new interview with Vulture about the future of the genre following the cancellation of Stephen Colbert‘s “Late Show” on CBS and his own run-ins with Trump, including his suspension following comments made about the death of Charlie Kirk.

“I feel a little bit defeated about it,” Kimmel told Vulture after Colbert’s final episode aired on May 21. “In a lot of ways, I feel like I’m looking at my own future.”

“There are far more people watching late-night TV than there ever were, if you look at the number of views me and my colleagues get online every day and add in our linear-television ratings,” Kimmel asserted, adding: “We’re not just dying of natural causes. We’re being poisoned.”

Being poisoned by what? For what it's worth, Kimmel doesn't believe that Colbert was canceled because he was losing $40 million a year for the network. “These are just made-up numbers,” Kimmel insists. 

I'm glad he feels a little bit defeated, and I'm glad he feels like he's looking at his own future.

Unfortunately, Kimmel didn't go into the poisoning of late-night TV, which is dying but has far more people watching than ever before. The number of views he gets online every day is boosted by people watching to see what stupid thing he said.

"We're being poisoned." Dude, shut up. You're being subsidized.

Finish the punchline … how are you being poisoned? By being paid millions a year to read monologues the DNC emailed to your writing staff?

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