Three Year Letterman Gives Props to Euroweenie Who'll Never Visit This Barbaric Country Again

I'm always interested to hear about America from Canadians and Europeans. I'm guessing Matthias Schmidt is from Germany, although in his X bio, he just says he's based in the EU … it's just one big happy family over there. I can't tell from his story whether Schmidt was in New York City on a work trip or on vacation, but he had his wife with him, and she had a medical emergency … which led him to conclude that he will never visit this barbaric country ever again. Well … bye.

My wife collapsed in our hotel room in New York today

“Call an ambulance, I can’t breathe” she was screaming

My heart dropped

If she ends up in an American hospital we are financially ruined

I went on the Lufthansa app to book a flight back to Frankfurt, but unfortunately…
— Matthias Schmidt (@eurofounder) April 22, 2026

The saga continues:

… pilots are on strike today
“Please I’m begging you” she was lying on the floor
I sighed and called 911
She is now in surgery as apparently her appendix “almost burst”
I am extremely scared
This is going to cost us at least $100,000
She could have received much better care, for free, in Germany
I will never visit this barbaric country ever again

This reminds me of the guy who said he hesitated to call 911 when his child's lips turned blue. This guy's wife was screaming that she couldn't breathe, and he gets on an app to find a flight back to Germany? OK, it's a parody account, and master of parody, Three Year Letterman, was impressed.

This is a masterpiece. I’m in awe and frankly envious https://t.co/VY9zlXhNBz
— Three Year Letterman (@3YearLetterman) April 22, 2026

We’ve found the Euro Three Year. But I’ll bet he lettered in soccer so it means less than nothing.
— mjordan (@MaxMBJ) April 22, 2026

I look at the utter hysteria in the replies to his tweets and am astonished that Euros still think we’re the dumb ones.
— Andrew Ketler (@andrewketler) April 22, 2026

In Canada you could have had her euthanized. Make better travel decisions next time.
— Chris Laub (@ChrisLaubAI) April 22, 2026

Looks like I need to take my mother-in-law to Toronto
— Matthias Schmidt (@eurofounder) April 22, 2026

Dear Matthias,

Stay close to her hospital bed. I heard American hospitals use situations like this to harvest the kidneys of unsuspecting victims and sell them on the black market.

All the best,

Wolfgang
— Wolfgang Richter (@WolfgangRichtEU) April 22, 2026

As far as parodies go, not bad.

This is good enough that you could run for the Senate as a Democrat in Kansas.
— Grateful Calvin (@shoveitjack) April 22, 2026

There's no way this isn't satire. Either way, I applaud you for ignoring dramatics like an "almost" burst appendix to manage financial decisions. More theatrics like [air quote] "medical emergencies" should be ignored. You should have taken a nap to establish dominance.
— MRS. MASSACRE (@MrsMassacre) April 22, 2026

I know this is satire, but you need to set this in a different city because NYC doesn't make you pay for medical care.

If you don't have insurance, they will bill you directly. But you don't have to pay and it can't impact your credit (by law).
— will (@odinsbadeye) April 22, 2026

You have one of the best satire accounts on X that I have seen in 18 years on this profile!! pic.twitter.com/Mx3pyNd9EL
— Erin Elizabeth Health Nut News🥜 (@unhealthytruth) April 22, 2026

The funniest bits are all of the people in the comments agreeing that the American health care system is terrible.