First, you have to understand two things: A. New York Times columnist Ross Douthat isn’t looking for someone as clueless as Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez but rather someone young and dynamic, and B. this person will never, ever get the media attention that she does.

We thought it was pretty obvious, but you go first:

Why do we feel like we’re being trolled?

Seriously, though:

Actually, we had this guy in mind:

Philip Wegmann of the Washington Examiner didn’t just tweet his answer to Douthat; he wrote a piece addressing this exact question:

We do too.