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Twitchy at CPAC -- The conservative wave is surging as a result of...The Trump Towel

Political conferences are a think tank for generating conservative ideals, a vital quorum serving as a laboratory of policy and voter outreach that will sway the important thinkers and motivate community activism.

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There is also a ton of products to be found.

Trawling the hallways you will see no shortage of people adorned with any conceivable variation of the stars and stripes and other garish patriotic regalia. Away from the main stage and the lecture halls, down below the press office is the vendors’ area, and here you see capitalism still raging in a healthy fashion.

This is why the appearance of something like The Trump Towel is both initially obtuse and also makes total sense. Why would you need the president’s name emblazoned across a swath of terry cloth?

To illustrate the need for such an item there are no fewer than three variations on the design. The ”rally towel” variation is 15”x18” and is for spinning overhead at events involving President Trump. There is also a full-sized bath towel ($24.99, with free shipping) and a beach towel as well ($29.99).

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The concept may not make sense, and that is precisely the point. Capitalism is all about finding your niche in the marketplace and drawing the attention of the consumer. If it is something as arcane as a towel, or branded cigars, or a Trump Hammock (yes, they exist, and they are for sale here) that becomes the best way to beat back the mounting scourge of Socialism.

Products like these are the emblem of capitalism, and the ridiculousness of the selections is the bastion of liberty. In the face of a statist totalitarian that wants to dictate the very goods and services that would be made available in their approved ”utopia,” I will boldly spin a Trump Towel over my head — or more accurately, directly int heir face.

 

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