Do you own a vagina but don't know how to use it? Well, Teen Vogue has the 'no-nonsense' guide for you!

You want to have some sexy time but you’re all alone. What do you do?

Well, if you’re a vagina owner, you turn to the fine folks at Teen Vogue, who are re-upping this November 2019 article just in time for Christmas:

your no-nonsense, 101 guide to masturbation for vagina owners ✨ https://t.co/GJECVNc2tD

— Teen Vogue (@TeenVogue) December 22, 2020

Thanks, Teen Vogue! We knew we could count on you!

love the inclusive language and non-judgemental tone ?

— lion nes ❄️ (@nes2quick) December 22, 2020

We wish that were sarcasm.

?????

— Seth Dillon (@SethDillon) December 22, 2020

Are you effing kidding??

— Rachel Wilson (@RachelEMwilson) December 22, 2020

Teen Vogue may be a joke, but they’re not kidding.

I think I spotted some nonsense.

— Chess Triplet (@ChessTriplet) December 22, 2020

Funny. I would argue that, right out the gate, the dehumanizing term "vagina owners" is a whole lot of nonsense. https://t.co/v4HZLv4twz

— Emily Kaht (@EKaht) December 22, 2020

A vagina is just something you purchase at the store, apparently.

They say “no-nonsense” in the same sentence they refer to women as “vagina owners” https://t.co/oOY4wuiS6z

— Ashe Short (@AsheSchow) December 22, 2020

Step 1: Call them "women"https://t.co/OCOrbCRyjR

— ? Unsafe Space (@unsafespace) December 22, 2020

Yeah totally a “no nonsense” guide, well done, but surely should be a “clitoris owner”? And to be inclusive I hope you have a version for “ladydique owners” too? Complete with fruit imagery. Because everyone should be reduced to body parts, how great that makes us feel!

— HowdyKaren (@howdykaren) December 22, 2020

Piss off, this is garbage. We are female people you rubes. https://t.co/zwGPG18bse

— Rukhsana Sukhan (@RukhsanaSukhan) December 22, 2020

Sorry, gals! You're not ladies. You're not women. Not even girls or females or broads. You're just "vagina owners." https://t.co/ZdcUhtNgJK

— Aldous Huxley's Ghost™ (@AF632) December 22, 2020

The fingers owner who typed this out should probably be replaced by a brain owner than knows not to denigrate women down to nothing more than a collection of body parts.

— Aldous Huxley's Ghost™ (@AF632) December 22, 2020

The erasure of women. https://t.co/NBUWg5yTiU

— Chad Felix Greene (@chadfelixg) December 22, 2020

Woke AF.