Bob Casey Jr Finally Concedes to Dave McCormick in Pennsylvania Senate Race
This TOTALLY Did Not Happen! Climate Activist Says Hurricanes Convinced His Barber Climate...
LET THEM FIGHT: Cenk Uygur Calls Out Joy Behar and 'The View' and...
Daily Mail: We're All Gonna Die From Climate Change! (In 75 Years, That...
'You'll See Things Our Way': Jaguar DOUBLES DOWN on Cringe Ad With Vaguely...
Mayor of Dearborn, Michigan Will Have Netanyahu Arrested If He Enters the City
Biden's America: NFL Issues Security Alert for Players Regarding S. American Crime Syndica...
Karine Jean-Pierre Explains How Much Cheaper Your Thanksgiving Meal Is This Year Thanks...
Nancy Mace Goes 'There' Ending Adam Kinzinger for Trying to Pick a Fight...
Good Luck With That! British MPs Plan to Summon Elon Musk to the...
Twitter Reminds Mopey 'Pod Bro' Jon Favreau What Obama ACTUALLY Brought About
Burning Down the House? Biden Loosens Immigration Requirements Prior to Leaving Office
Big Bad Denver, Colorado Mayor Says He Will Protect Illegals From the Federal...
Taylor Lorenz's Reasoning for Why She LOVES the Vibe on Bluesky Made Me...
J.K. Rowling - $7.7 Billion, Trans Activists - Zero: HBO Stands by Rowling...

Sick: Online 'feminist' rag Jezebel asks 'What's the best age to have an abortion?'

Jezebel, a member of the illustrious Gawker network, calls itself “The home of shiny happy ladies.” But there’s nothing remotely shiny or happy about its latest piece of garbage:

Advertisement

Whether you’re under 18 or over 40, author Erin Gloria Ryan helpfully lists the pros (yes, shiny happy ladies think there are pros) and cons of having an abortion at a particular age.

Here are the perks of being under 18:

Pro: Well, duh. This one’s a no-brainer — teenagers aren’t, as an almost universal rule, equipped to be mothers. And pop culture abounds with living, breathing DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN WHEN YOU ARE A TEENAGER warnings — Teen Mom, Bristol Palin, Justin Bieber’s weird mom who went out on a date with Chris Harrison, host of The Bachelor (not to be confused with Chris Hansen, host of To Catch a Predator). When it comes to giving birth as a teen, it’s not a question of IF you’ll experience massive hardship as a result of bringing a child into the world before you’re old enough to legally buy lottery tickets; it’s a matter of how much of a lasting lifefuck will result.

And between 24 and 27:

Pro: Young enough that you can still get pregnant from making extended eye contact with a guy with a beard, old enough that you’ve probably got a job that pays enough that you no longer must shop at Forever 21.

And between 27 and 30:

Pro: If you haven’t acquired an expensive coke habit by now, congratulations! This is the richest you’ve ever been on your own! If you saved up a little, you could probably afford a designer abortion. A Marc Jacobs abortion, in teal.

Advertisement

Marc Jacobs abortion! In teal! Isn’t that hilarious? While Ryan is wiping away self-congratulatory tears of laughter:

https://twitter.com/morninggloria/status/299201843349823489

Those with morals are weeping:

https://twitter.com/ogmediallc/status/299224642890133504

https://twitter.com/ogmediallc/status/299224840148246528

https://twitter.com/Heminator/status/299228204781170689

Shameful.

***

Related:

Chelsea Handler laughs about her abortion with Conan O’Brien; Update: Jezebel declares Twitchy ‘humorless and lame’

‘Tis the season for depravity: Pro-abortionists again offer sick ‘abornaments,’ PP sends out chocolate birth control

Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Recommended

Trending on Twitchy Videos

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement