Earlier this week, the Department of Homeland Security released an instructional video on what to do if “confronted with an active shooter situation.” Suggestions include hiding and defending yourself with scissors. No, really:
Oh, puh-leeze. Cue the mockfest:
https://twitter.com/BrianCMcDonald/status/296995921747644416
#DHSTips make a list of co-workers you really hate so you can pick one as a human shield in an emergency.
— Greg Pollowitz (@GPollowitz) January 31, 2013
#DHSTips ~ Fashion a weapon using paper clips and rubber bands, staples may also be used, however they are less effective
— G® Hū✝söñ (@jess_reign_bass) January 31, 2013
#DHSTips tattoo your SS number on your arm. It makes it easier to identify the bodies of those we've disarmed once the shooting is over.
— Bob Owens (@bob_owens) January 31, 2013
#DHSTips Demand that your attacker donate to the office gift fund; he will flee.
— Keep on keepin' yer distance. (@prosehaikus) January 31, 2013
Recommended
https://twitter.com/BrianCMcDonald/status/296994180947902466
1. Grab scissors 2. Offer to hem his pants 3. Hope police make it there before you're done. #DHSTips
— CynicOwl (@SthrnFriedYankE) January 31, 2013
https://twitter.com/EL_Sharkey/status/296992677138935808
#DHSTips DO NOT throw twisty light bulbs at the shooter. They are filled with mercury and are considered dangerous.
— Greg Pollowitz (@GPollowitz) January 31, 2013
https://twitter.com/BrianCMcDonald/status/297040784153255936
Fool-proof advice. Thanks, guys.
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