If you ever worried America’s intellectual decline was overstated, Tucker Carlson just sat down with a guest who treated high-school algebra like a secret handshake for suckers. Letters next to numbers? Obviously a prank. Actual equations? Fake math for people still plugged into the Matrix. And if you think knowing how to solve for x might come in handy outside a classroom, congratulations: you’ve been identified as the sort of obedient rube who does what he’s told.
Oh, and you know, algebra is obviously some evil, secret plan from the Jews to keep people dumb so they pay more in interest on loans or something.
Don't look at us, man, we just work here.
Watch:
Tucker Carlson asks why algebra puts letters into numbers.
— Max 📟 (@MaxNordau) September 7, 2026
Jess Elofson explains: "I think just to fuck with you."
They discuss how they've never met anyone in their life who uses algebra, which is "fake math" for people "in the matrix."
They conclude that caring about algebra… pic.twitter.com/p6VKLrgrLd
Post continues:
... is something that only "good little goy slaves" do.
What the EFF is going on here?
There's more:
Jess Elofson explains that he "could not pass college algebra" because he "could not understand why we were putting letters into numbers," and his algebra teachers were "very lacking in intelligence."
— Max 📟 (@MaxNordau) September 8, 2026
So he "got drunk with the lady who signs you up for classes" at a party, never… pic.twitter.com/s2VS4ejJVD
Post continues:
... had an advisor, and skipped every freshman requirement.
At graduation: "They were like, how the f**k? You've taken none of these freshman classes." His defense: "Algebra's dumb. I'm an art major. I want to build cool s**t.
"That's how he found finite math, the class "they had hidden from us."Why did "they" hide finite math from students? "Because it explains to you how much you will pay on any loan for interest and how fast you could pay off a loan if you just pay $50 more."H
e made it "through a week of the class" before cutting up his credit cards.
This leads into Tucker Carlson asking why algebra puts letters into numbers.
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Yes, it's all a plot to keep people paying more in interest. Holy INSANE, Batman.
Two minutes prior to their discussion of algebra, Tucker Carlson and Jess Elofson discuss Rumpelstiltskin.
— Max 📟 (@MaxNordau) September 8, 2026
Elofson explains that Rumpelstiltskin is "the perfect allegory for everything we are dealing with right now": a creature that creates wealth from nothing, wants to eat your… pic.twitter.com/8f6trC6fTn
Post continues:
... children, and stomps and screams and calls you names when you name him, before disappearing back into the shadows.
Carlson's response: "Wow. That's definitely banned."
Elofson never specifies the allegory, but you can probably infer from his later denunciation of Americans as "good little goy slaves."
We got nothin'.
“Solve for x? Who is “x”? Why am I solving this question for him? Why can’t he do it himself? Who is paying him? And why do people get so mad when you ask these questions?” https://t.co/zQrs2BhSVw pic.twitter.com/H71ybCjwxp
— Magills (@magills_) September 8, 2026
We've said this before and we'll probably say it again—Carlson is gone. Or at least the man we all thought we knew. Whoever this new Carlson is, no thanks.
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