Sometimes, Twitter isn’t a complete dumpster fire. This is one of those times. And we have the Lawrence Police Department to thank for that.
The most ridiculous call of 2019 (so far)
A thread. pic.twitter.com/F2SKHqDdZV
— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) February 28, 2019
Ladies and gentlemen, sit back, relax, and enjoy this epic tale:
So two officers get sent to a “road rage in progress” last night. Two unfortunate souls are dispatched to handle it. Keep in mind this is time they will never get back.
— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) February 28, 2019
Upon arrival, the first officer finds two cars in a parking lot, we’ll call the drivers Karen and Chad. The cars are facing each other in close proximity. So Karen wants out of the parking lot, Chad wants in. BOTH OF THEM ARE REFUSING TO GET OUT OF THE OTHER ONES WAY. pic.twitter.com/spSOJ9Pgnt
— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) February 28, 2019
Literally all they have to do is back up. Nay, all ONE OF THEM has to do is back up and the other one can go. By the time we arrive, the great parking lot standoff of 2019 has been going on at least 20 minutes.
— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) February 28, 2019
So Chad says “I got nowhere to go, I can just stay here all night.” But why, Chad? Why don’t you just move? Apparently because this is a principle issue, and because 2019. pic.twitter.com/lMCZTHbak8
— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) February 28, 2019
Ok, let’s try Karen. Maybe Karen can be reasonable. Karen, could you please just back up so Chad can go? “Nope, I’m not moving. He can move.” pic.twitter.com/JK8nArbJrp
— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) February 28, 2019
Karen claims she can’t back up because her vehicle is too large and she will literally crash it. Karen is driving a *mini*van. Mini is emphasized because the van is not particularly large, and if Karen can’t back it up, maybe Karen should refrain from driving.
— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) February 28, 2019
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So a sergeant shows up to get more information on this “road rage in progress” call and as soon as he finds out what the issue is nopes out of there like the day old donuts just got set out at the gas station.
— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) February 28, 2019
Ok, listen Chad, this is really a massive waste of our time. Can you just move?
“Nope, I didn’t call you guys, she did. I’ll sit here all night if I have to.” pic.twitter.com/10Q78dDEod
— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) February 28, 2019
Karen, sooo how’s about you move your car now and we can move on with our night?
“WHY WONT YOU JUST MAKE HIM MOVE UGH THE POLICE SUCK” pic.twitter.com/7uJYjlmUuY
— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) February 28, 2019
First of all, KAREN, we don’t have the legal authority to make either one of you move, this is private property. Second of all, grow up. Third of all, we’re leaving. Have a good night.
— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) February 28, 2019
As far as we know, Chad and Karen are still sitting there. And so concludes the story of the most ridiculous call of 2019 (so far)
Fin.
— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) February 28, 2019
Was that fantastic, or was that fantastic?
The most 2019 story of our time. https://t.co/GvUEQTCosh
— Brandon Morse (@TheBrandonMorse) February 28, 2019
Followed the account, just for more tweets like this. Lmao best story of 2019 so far on twitter.
— RedBearVex̵̾̾͂͝eD? (@RedVexeDesigns) February 28, 2019
I’m laughing hysterically at this in the school parking lot waiting for my son. Pretty sure the guy in the car next to me is becoming concerned about my sanity.
— Nikki Neubauer (@neubauer_nikki) February 28, 2019
You guys are the best! Dying laughing at work
— mikie meisberger (@mikiem79) February 28, 2019
We really need a like button for this entire thread ???
— ❄️❄️ Maggie Snow ❄️❄️ (@maggsnow) February 28, 2019
Absolutely FANTASTIC Lawrence PD!
— Trevor Morgan (@AmfamMorgan) February 28, 2019
This 1000% has made my day
— Mike M (@pghmike78) February 28, 2019
If this thread had a face I would kiss it.
/French chef voice/ Magnifique!— Nich Sullivan (@n1chsull1van) February 28, 2019
oh, @LawrenceKS_PD, you truly are a twitter miracle.
— ?kupcake? (@lvngdeadgirl) February 28, 2019
This website, miraculously, is free. https://t.co/BhwFR9x7Ty
— Blame Big Government (@BlameBigGovt) February 28, 2019
And now I'm following @LawrenceKS_PD 4-evah.
— Jennifer Locklear (@RandomCran) February 28, 2019