Want to know what Neil deGrasse Tyson thinks about “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”? No? Well, then it sucks to be you, because he’s gonna tell you anyway.
Happy to share my observations of @StarWars Episode VII #TheForceAwakens (with mild spoiler alerts) if anybody is interested.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 19, 2015
Is anyone actually interested?
20:1 Those who are interested vs. those avoiding even mild spoilers. Out of respect for the minority, I’ll delay until Monday
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 19, 2015
How about out of respect for everyone, you just keep your observations to yourself?
In the meantime, a reminder of how I feel about the @StarWars Millennium Falcon: [1m 40s] https://t.co/AfBNSNZLgO
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 19, 2015
And if you can’t wait for my @StarWars #TheForceAwakens tweets, not to worry, Monday is under 12 parsecs from now.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 19, 2015
We can wait, Neil. We really can.
My promised observations of @StarWars Episode VII #TheForceAwakens follows (with only mild spoiler alerts).
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 21, 2015
Ugh.
In @StarWars #TheForceAwakens, I’m reminded that Red & Blue teams cooperate with one another. Rare in American Politics.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 21, 2015
In @StarWars #TheForceAwakens, BB-8 is waaaaay cuter than R2D2.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 21, 2015
I guess I did just demote R2D2 to “Dwarf Cute” status. No hard feelings though.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 21, 2015
In @StarWars #TheForceAwakens, BB-8, a smooth rolling metal spherical ball, would have skidded uncontrollably on sand.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 21, 2015
In @StarWars #TheForceAwakens the TIE fighters made exactly the same sound in the vacuum of space as in planetary atmospheres
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 21, 2015
In @StarWars #TheForceAwakens, if you were to suck all of a star’s energy into your planet, your planet would vaporize.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 21, 2015
In @StarWars #TheForceAwakens, the energy in a Star is enough to destroy ten-thousand planets, not just a few here & there.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 21, 2015
In @StarWars #TheForceAwakens, once again I felt isolated and inadequate for not understanding Wookiee-speak.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 21, 2015
Actually, Neil has many reasons to feel isolated and inadequate. Not the least of which is that he sucks all the fun out of everything.
In @StarWars #TheForceAwakens, the lead character snacks on what includes Romanescu Broccoli, nature’s only fractal food.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 21, 2015
In @StarWars #TheForceAwakens, the Storm Troopers still run as though they’re carrying a full load of poop in their diapers.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 21, 2015
Hey, speaking of full loads of poop, Neil’s not finished yet:
In @StarWars #TheForceAwakens, apparently Wookiees don’t age, or they age much slower than human actors do.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 21, 2015
In @StarWars #TheForceAwakens, the starry skies were unfamiliar. As they should be, a long time ago in a Galaxy far, far away
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 21, 2015
Unashamed of inanity, #TheForceAwakens repeats the Millennium Falcon boast of completing the Kessel Run in "under 12 parsecs"
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 21, 2015
( A Parsec is an obscure unit of distance in Astrophysics, equal to 3.26 Light Years. Neither has anything to do with time. )
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 21, 2015
Both at age 19, my wife saw @StarWars in 1977 & our daughter saw #TheForceAwakens in 2015. I don’t know what that means.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 21, 2015
It means you should stop it, Neil. Just staaaaaaaahp.
…don't do this. https://t.co/ffZxSHJTyO
— Young Spellczech (@ShowinmadLov) December 21, 2015
https://twitter.com/lachlan/status/679001358628818944
I bet @neiltyson is the kind of guy who gives you a christmas present then reminds you that corrosion from the batteries will be poisonous.
— ❄️ 30-50 inches forecasted… Ladies ? (@ughesq) December 21, 2015
<Delivering eulogy at a funeral>
“He was a good man, loved by all and lived a full life”
Neil deGrasse Tyson: “Well, actually…"
— Diners, Drive-Ins & Daves (@DavidJCervi) December 21, 2015
https://twitter.com/MubzLFC/status/679011785660219392
.@neiltyson @StarWars I think most of us understand that the "science" in "science-fiction" has air quotes.
— Loren (@rescuethecows) December 21, 2015
Acceptable email topics this week: Star Wars. Unless you're Neil deGrasse Tyson. Ugh. That guy.
— Victor Godinez (@VictorGodinez) December 21, 2015
Ok that's enough. https://t.co/QnpjncBrIC
— Gray ummm (@GrahamSig) December 21, 2015
And then @neiltyson takes a Star Wars poster, pulls down his pants and shits all over it. He cackles madly. pic.twitter.com/ENzBQstYTL
— thanksgiving awareness account (@inthefade) December 21, 2015
Neil, stop. You're embarrassing yourself https://t.co/Dv7Dc6QDnT
— James McGivern (@_MacAtck) December 21, 2015
This might actually be the closest to becoming a parody of oneself I’ve witnessed on Twitter https://t.co/xpdtQ3cr67
— Jordan Kay (@_Jordan) December 21, 2015
https://twitter.com/andylevy/status/679008538019028993
@neiltyson this is why people don't like you.
— Matt (@MattMazurk) December 21, 2015
https://twitter.com/moderncomments/status/679008511745990658
RT to create a new & separate Internet exactly like this one, except with 100% less Neil deGrasse Tyson
— kilgore trout was in the loop (@KT_So_It_Goes) December 21, 2015
Editor’s note: We’ve removed a tweet from this post to use in a follow-up post instead.
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Update:
‘Suck on that, Neil’: @StarWars cracks BB-8-shaped egg on deGrasse Tyson’s smug face
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