And … we’re off!
https://twitter.com/JayCaruso/status/378319995081854976
Remember when Media Matters’ Oliver Willis tweeted, “i hate conservatism, its so dumb”? Keep that in mind as you feast your eyes on his reaction to snort-worthy mockery of Michelle Obama’s Big Water push.
https://twitter.com/owillis/status/378319952694239232
Clearly this is the goal:
@redsteeze You'll only be happy when the First Lady has to drink water from a separate fountain! @owillis
— Kim Jong-unthony Bialy (@AnthonyBialy) September 13, 2013
Confirmed (again):
@owillis You are without a shadow of a doubt the stupidest person with a modem.
— Charles C. W. Cooke (@charlescwcooke) September 13, 2013
.@owillis A sad holdover from the bad, old days of Jim Crow when black folk weren't allowed to discuss hydration.
— jon gabriel (@exjon) September 13, 2013
@owillis Nobody ever made fun of the White House before January 20, 2009. You're doing fine, tuff stuff.
— China is lying (@jtLOL) September 13, 2013
.@owillis It plays into the ugly racist trope that African-Americans, on occasion, drink water. #sickening
— jon gabriel (@exjon) September 13, 2013
Behold some of the oh-so-racist assaults on the first lady:
The pioneers of the Oregon Trail had neither bottled water nor Obamacare. There wasn't even a Department of Labor. What losers!
— Charles C. W. Cooke (@charlescwcooke) September 13, 2013
Marco Rubio is so responsible he couldn't even wait to finish his speech to drink water. 2016 just changed dramatically.
— Charles C. W. Cooke (@charlescwcooke) September 13, 2013
Recommended
Tomorrow's White House advice: "Try not to walk into the walls of your house or fall out of open windows. You're welcome."
— Charles C. W. Cooke (@charlescwcooke) September 13, 2013
"Sure, many enjoy water in its liquid form. But did you know you can enjoy it when frozen? And why not consider the possibilities of steam!"
— jon gabriel (@exjon) September 12, 2013
I dream of an America where water flows like… well, you know. #DrinkH2O
— jon gabriel (@exjon) September 12, 2013
.@charlescwcooke Excuse me, but what's "water?" Is it a kind of food or a computer or something?
— jon gabriel (@exjon) September 13, 2013
.@FLOTUS Drink water?! I haven't touched the stuff since I saw that fracking movie. What if we catch fire? #ScienceSaysSo
— jon gabriel (@exjon) September 13, 2013
.@KristinaRibali When I'm thirsty, I just eat ham. Doesn't help, but I'll keep doing it until someone from the government tells me differnt.
— jon gabriel (@exjon) September 13, 2013
Not all of us got to go to some fancy private school where they teach you how to drink water.
— American Journalists Publish Chinese Propaganda (@JohnEkdahl) September 13, 2013
I must have been 14 or 15 years old when my parents gave me “the water talk”.
— American Journalists Publish Chinese Propaganda (@JohnEkdahl) September 13, 2013
@MichelleObama whoa, whoa… slow down with the water info, I'm trying to take notes #scribblescribble
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) September 13, 2013
And for the (obviously racist) win:
I remember the Old Age – the time Before Obama. Our ruler didn't tell the dessicated masses about Water. It was a dark time. A thirsty time.
— jon gabriel (@exjon) September 13, 2013
Confused, thirsty peasants would stuff their mouths with cotton, stones, even glass, for none had been told of the quenching power of Water.
— jon gabriel (@exjon) September 13, 2013
But wealthy and powerful and aged white men jealously guarded this aqueous secret. Water was diverted to war machines and to Wall Street.
— jon gabriel (@exjon) September 13, 2013
But then a herald heard his people's thirsty cries. The voice of one crying in the wilderness proclaimed: "Let me be clear: Drink water!"
— jon gabriel (@exjon) September 13, 2013
The Herald was Hussein Obama: H2O. His very name the formula to quench a people's thirst for Hydrative Justice.
— jon gabriel (@exjon) September 13, 2013
Just five years on, we take water for granted. We almost expect to find water in every tap, river or stream. But it was not always so.
— jon gabriel (@exjon) September 13, 2013
Our Blessed Mother FLOTUS does not forget so easily. She and her celebrity friends will remind us of our all-to-recent quenchless past.
— jon gabriel (@exjon) September 13, 2013
So drink your water, citizens. But before you do, remember those who once thirsted. And thank your government from which all life flows.
— jon gabriel (@exjon) September 13, 2013
We’ll leave you with this:
https://twitter.com/owillis/status/378308693915607040
Yore so smart.