https://twitter.com/carney/status/383228131395399680
Oh dear. Jonah Goldberg explains they are our enemies (except for dogs) and are up to no good at all.
People, you should know this. Dogs will be humanity's only reliable allies in the Great Animal War. They made their choice long ago.
— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahDispatch) September 26, 2013
@JonahNRO You think the pot bellied pigs will bail on us when the going gets tough? Me too. Never trusted them.
— AdamAnnapolis (@adamannapolis) September 26, 2013
.@adamannapolis Oh and the ferrets. The ferrets have been doing recon on the wiring in our homes for years.
— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahDispatch) September 26, 2013
The parrots have memorized your PIN numbers. #GreatAnimalWar
— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahDispatch) September 26, 2013
Oh my gawd! The parrots are inside your house!
Life imitates Seinfeld http://t.co/OmvtpFWiUA RT @lizzieohreally: A pigeon just flew into my head. #nyfears
— Andy Lancaster (@andylancaster) September 26, 2013
And “Seinfeld” imitates life. The Twitter users who sparked Jonah Goldberg’s warning? They are not alone.
A pigeon just flew straight into the back of my head. Ruthless fxckers #Hitchcock
— Liana (@itsLiana) September 26, 2013
https://twitter.com/GabbiTavani/status/382909297698824192
https://twitter.com/AndyMoore1975/status/382789954377891841
Cool? Or terrifying?
https://twitter.com/jepperstone/status/382649526143574016
A pigeon just flew smack into my head while I was out walking just now, so brb ill be sawing my head off
— Cheeto Puff (@419BillE) September 24, 2013
Hitchcock worthy Horror haha "@ContikiJenni: A #pigeon literally just flew into my head !! This is why I an scared of birds lol #Toronto"
— Kelly Tyndall (@Ktyn22) September 24, 2013
Recommended
https://twitter.com/air_yell/status/382552265338269697
https://twitter.com/FranDaawson/status/382464907180261376
https://twitter.com/georgiawatkins/status/382176544820846592
A pigeon literally just grazed my head as it flew by. I can't. No. Nope. Bye. Done.
— Emily Baker (@emilybakez) September 23, 2013
https://twitter.com/MeeraDoctor/status/382139767129120768
https://twitter.com/PhilsLionGirl/status/381800594954268672
https://twitter.com/UzmaR13/status/381448807919386624
A PIGEON JUST FLEW INTO MY HEAD. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. THEY ARE AFTER ME. I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!
— Sarah Shear (@xxSarahS) September 20, 2013
Heed the warnings, humanity!
Deer are just as dastardly.
https://twitter.com/HannahLittlemor/status/382837430115893248
and then a deer charged down the hill, right at me, behind my apartment while i was standing on the porch. the dog didn't even care.
— Jessica Corcoran (@thejessness84) September 24, 2013
OK it's true!!!!!! When I was about 13 I was a beater on the estate I grew up on and a deer charged me, bopped me on my side and I was out
— Alan Cumming (@Alancumming) July 24, 2013
, this fuckin deer just charged at me and my gma.
— K'Weylahh (@_KeylaWeyla_x) September 24, 2013
https://twitter.com/KeepitKonstant/status/372137011978989568
This baby deer charged me yesterday … LOL pic.twitter.com/UGSV1cFMuk
— Dan (@tacofro77) August 13, 2013
Do not let the cute Bambi face fool you.
https://twitter.com/t0mmysmalls/status/362646786680176640
They came back today. And then some big jerk with big antlers charged at me! #mean #deer http://t.co/etkWsO59u6
— Kendra Jade Rossi ? (@kendrajaderossi) August 8, 2013
http://instagram.com/p/cwy0yHTeHa/
This deer just charged at me #tooclose #personalbubble #sorrydeer #johndeere pic.twitter.com/epS8YFA3iN
— Iokua McCoy-Spicoli (@joshmcnuggets) June 28, 2013
A deer charged at me and Makenzie. I fell up the stairs and got this bad boy. #battlescar hurts to bad man. pic.twitter.com/laJAY2Q1rx
— Cat (@catieeee220) August 7, 2013
The first casualty in the #GreatAnimalWar?
A DEER JUST CHARGED ME OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO SCARY I ACTUALLY RAN FOR MY LIFE JESUS CHRIST I ALMOST JUST SHIT MYSELF
— // (@pizza5sauce) September 23, 2013
https://twitter.com/CarrierDylan/status/383035818106826752
Eight. Times. Is that what happened to Sen. Grassley? No wonder he just swiftly left the scene of his deer slaying. Or was it an accident? Perhaps he is a soldier for Team Humans.
Related:
Join the conversation as a VIP Member