A story out of East Lansing, Michigan that was reported this week in a Michigan State University dorm sounded ominous at first:

The report sparked immediate alarm:

BUT, upon further investigation, the story evolved just a little. Are you ready for this?

Wait, WHAT? A shoelace?

Via Lansing State Journal:

An item found on a stairwell door handle in a Michigan State University residence hall and initially believed to be a noose was, in fact, a shoelace, MSU police say.

MSU President Lou Anna Simon released a statement Wednesday morning condemning what appeared to be an instance of racial intimidation and saying, in part, that “No Spartan should ever feel targeted based on their race, or other ways in which they identify.”

By Wednesday afternoon, after further investigation, the university offered a different account of what had happened.
[…]
MSU police spoke with the student who lost both shoelaces which “are packaged in a way that someone could perceive them to look similar to a noose,” Cody said.

Peak 2017? Well, the year’s not over yet.

RIP The Onion.