KILL ALL ANTS is a movement behind which all Americans of all political beliefs could unite

Brett T. | 4:21 PM on August 30, 2017

There’s obviously something very tempting about becoming the sort of superhero that Touré can respect; otherwise, why would you spend a perfectly good summer weekend in a black hoodie with a helmet on your head, a black kerchief over your face, and a shield and baseball bat in your fists?

Beating white supremacists sounds like heroic work, but it doesn’t seem to be changing minds. Besides, Texas is in crisis right now from another natural disaster that we here at Twitchy have been following (from a safe distance): floating colonies of fire ants.

UPDATE: The floating fire ant colonies in Texas are growing… https://t.co/WZpyDiGXWU

— Twitchy Team (@TwitchyTeam) August 30, 2017

Sonny Bunch has a hot take in Wednesday’s Free Beacon that’s so hot it involves government-issued flamethrowers: kill all ants.

Go on …

https://twitter.com/SonnyBunch/status/902968665854926848

https://twitter.com/Greg651/status/902970577241198593

Well, shoot. This ain't nothing but good sense.

— JustFlatOutWilford (@just_wilford) August 30, 2017

Seriously, look at these things … they really do float.

Kill All Ants via @SonnyBunch https://t.co/967N0IqbGg pic.twitter.com/j2M0iDdOly

— Free Beacon (@FreeBeacon) August 30, 2017

Bunch writes:

This is a topic of some interest right now because people are learning that ants do not drown when it floods. Oh no. They form little balls and float along with the floodwaters, moving whole colonies into brand new areas. Let me repeat:

THEY CANNOT BE KILLED BY WATER AND THEY FLOAT ALONG IT AND THEY ARE COMING FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN AND YOUR PETS AND YOUR SUCKER PUNCH BLU-RAYS.

This isn’t cool, and to be honest, we haven’t exactly seen America’s greatest scientists — Bill Nye, Neil deGrasse Tyson, and Clock Boy — step up to the plate with a solution to the floating ant menace. And if you needed any more convincing, just check out this video: